A Working Mama and her Summer Guilt

When you are not working(outside the home) Summer vacation is exciting and carefree and wide open and, let's be honest, often overwhelmingly long when you have kids home all Summer. 

I know that. 

But, when you are working and your kids are on Summer vacation it just goes way too fast, 

it's a little depressing and often guilt-filled, when you are the mom.

So last week I decided I was taking a day off of work and the kids and I were going to do something fun.  My idea of fun might have been laying in bed with a really good book all day and not getting out of my pajamas, but we really needed to get away from home and do something fun together.

Two things on our Summer List were to have a picnic at Allerton Park and go to the swimming pool where my sister lives and my niece works.
Luckily it was a hot, beautiful day and we got to wander around the park, have a picnic, pick up my nephew to go to the pool with us, swim for hours and then spend the night at my sister's.
For my kids, that is seriously like their DREAM day.

This park is beautiful, we love coming here, there is so much to see.
The sunken garden is one of my favorite spots and the kids find a million different things to climb on in there, naturally. Statues, flower gardens, koi fish pond, the mazes, the mansion... we definitely didn't see it all this time.

This was a really good day, the three of us had a lot of fun together and my mama guilt was eased, if only for a few days. Hey, I'll take it. 

I gave up on the illusion of the "perfect summer" and marking everything off of our Summer Lists a  long time ago... there are no perfect Summers or even perfect days and we always want the opposite situation from the one we are in. Or I do anyway... And I know I am not the only one.
If I am working I wish I wasn't, if I am home, the kids are driving me nuts and I am secretly dreaming of all of the jobs I could have that day...Usually jobs where arguing kids aren't allowed and I am not cleaning up anyone's mess but my own.

{Charlotte on the high dive, she said it was mortifying but she kept doing it anyway}

We don't get a lot of whole days like this and even if we did, all days are not like this, but man am I glad to have one every once in a while.
Watching them go off the high dive even when they are scared too, down the slide 50 times, hang out with their cousins, watching them being so nice and sweet and helpful to each other with no fighting and little threatening on my part. That is a damn good feeling.
Many days it's easy to feel like you are barely keeping it together, that you are surely ruining your kids. It's nice to have a day when you honestly feel like you aren't doing half bad and that yes, even though you are working and they aren't doing exactly what you wished they were doing every day...It's still okay.

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On Wednesday I got to tell the mama guilt to kiss my ass... what a nice feeling.

Happy Weekend!