Snapshot :: That First Leaf

Oh, that first leaf of the season.
The first leaf in the process of changing, not quite finished... really just getting started.
This one was spotted last weekend in Indiana.
The kids were all climbing the tree they were falling from and when one of them picked one up
and twirled it around from the bottom of the stem, I got a quick picture.
It's perfect. The light, the first leaf, the season to come.

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State Fair

State Fair 2016.
It was actually a really, really fun way to celebrate my Birthday this year.
I think the livestock part is still our favorite but the carnival will always be my most favorite place to photograph at the Fair.
I think I have a few new favorites in here!
After not posting for nearly 5 months now, I could talk about the memories and how big the kids were the last time we were here several years ago, or the stage of life we are in right now or birthdays and how some years they are a lot of fun and others...they just aren't.
BUT  instead, I'm just gonna let the pictures do the talking and tell you that the lemon shake-ups never, EVER disappoint.

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Sometimes It's Not So Simple, Sometimes It Is

Last night I got out one of my big drawing books, grabbed one of my favorite pens and made myself sit down and write.
And when I say "write", that can mean to actually write, to simply doodle, draw or make a list...Just putting pen to paper is sometimes the best way for me to reflect, figure things out and look at problems differently.
It is often a way for me to get whatever is bothering me OUT of me(even if only temporarily) and somewhere else(on the paper).
Life has been heavy the last week or so and yesterday it was just about to come to a head.
Sitting at work, looking out at yet another gray, rainy, dreary sky, I thought I was going to lose it.
Like seriously.
Several days like this in a row, on top of already feeling emotional and having some tough life things going on lately, has nearly done me in for this week. I really want to throw in the towel.

After work, I came home and looked at the kitchen that needed cleaned and the laundry that needed folded and instead I forced myself to put on my tennis shoes and go for a walk.
As we got about a block from home I told myself that every time I felt down and could not get myself out of a funk, I was going to make myself put on my tennis shoes and just walk. Somewhere, anywhere...For an hour or for 15 minutes.
It helped a little.
When I got home I took a shower, used my favorite shower gel, put on my brand new pajama pants and sat down on the couch with my big drawing book. I wrote and drew and slowly felt a tiny bit better than I had in days.
I am a big believer in not ignoring what the problem or issue is but trying to figure it out- and most importantly, trying to figure out what I need to do to change the situation or change how I am reacting to a situation. 
Very often, like now, there is not a thing you can do to change tough situations though- You cannot control anyone else's actions but your own and sometimes that really sucks.


Today is a new day and I am going to try my hardest to make it better than yesterday.

With Sprinkles

Celebrating the school Spring Band Concert with ice cream afterwards last week. 

I had the lemon-strawberry twist with sprinkles. 

Always with sprinkles. 

Simple family traditions make big memories and I hope we always remember to
celebrate with ice cream. 

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Life Lately...

Life lately has been Spring sloooowly, slowly creeping in.
It has been longer evenings and the start of soccer practice(for both kids this Spring!)- the first couple practices were FREEZING but it seems like that has changed now. Thank God.
Life lately has been swimming two nights a week and purging + organizing this old house of ours.
Life lately has been picking flowers and playing in the backyard.
Life lately has been basketball games with cousins and finding a $20 Starbucks gift card from Christmas you forgot all about.

Life lately has been little reminders that my boy might be growing up but he is still super sweet to his Mama. Usually.
Life lately has been lots and lots of books and little succulents everywhere.
Life lately has been exploring on of our very favorite parks with cousins and finding a small field of blue bells.

Life lately has been my first Sunday morning coffee on the front porch and new magazines to drool over.
Life lately is the sweetest dog ever and finding him(once again) in the funniest places, thinking that he is more human than animal.
Life lately has been EVERYTHING in bloom- flowering and green and growing.

Life lately is reminding myself everyday to find the beauty in the busy, stressful and sometimes ugly.
It is stepping back to see how much there is to be thankful for and happy about every single day and to teach my kids to do the same.

Life lately is good.

Daydreaming...

Current daydream:
Pack the kids and dog up in a yellow VW bus and tour the United States for the next six months.
I'm thinking... Colorado, Arizona, Montana, Oregon, California, Washington, Maine...
The ocean, the mountains, big cities, small towns and all the State Parks and campgrounds in between.
Making memories, seeing new places and experiencing one huge adventure right from the front seat of  a bright yellow bus.

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Coming And Going

This week I have thought, at various times, about this little blog of mine.  Just sitting here.
Like I have nothing to say at all and no time to say it. Sometimes it does seem like that, other times I have so much to say I don't know where to start.
More often than not though, there are things in my head and on my heart and on the very tip of my tongue even,  that stay where they are because they are not for public viewing/reading/hearing.

You know those things you want to say and those days when you feel like there is literally not one person on this planet that understands you, or cares what you have to say anyway.
We all have those days.
When you feel silenced... misunderstood...alone...when you are moving along, keeping your mouth shut because you know it's the best thing to do. The days you don't even feel like trying, or explaining, the days when you know if you said these things out loud you would surely be deemed crazy, like officially.

I have a lot of those days but often they are just moments in my days...not full days.
Sometimes I miss the days of writing or typing, sharing and just getting it all out there, if only for myself--Because really it has always been just for myself, this space and these words and pictures.
It's for me.

So you keep going and there are good days and bad days...
There are days you want to start over, somewhere else where no one knows your name, and there are days when you know you couldn't do this if there wasn't someone around that did know your name, your story and your heart.
These days of coming and going and giving all you have and feeling certain it isn't enough, they are hard. But they are good, too.
There is always good, every single day and that is what I keep telling myself- Some days we need this reminder and some days we absolutely do not need it. It's okay to have both kinds of days.
It's okay to be a contradiction.
It's okay to be up and down, coming and going, hot and cold.
Most days I can't pretend to be anything else, I just don't have it in me.



And that is okay.