Thunder, Lightning and a Confession....

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

                   "I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." -Louisa May Alcott

I never ever used to be scared of storms.
Not at all when I was little, growing up or even as an adult before I had children. Never.
I like rain, I love sleeping during a heavy rain but I am talking about all out storms here. Bad ones.
Thunder, lots of lightning, heavy wind and the possibility of  a tornado. We get that a lot around here.

Maybe nervous is a better word, they make me nervous, not so much scared.
I know Eric looks at me kinda crazy because he doesn't understand where this comes form all of the sudden.
I do.
It's one of those irrational fears us mothers have of something happening to one of our children.
It's something I cannot control. It makes me nervous.
And really? With all of the tornadoes, flash floods and hurricanes you see on tv and read about, is it really all that irrational anyway? It's just another worry.

Charlotte has developed a real fear of storms now. My poor baby.
And it's not because of me, I promise. I can play it cool in front of the kids.
I can tell her again and again  that, "No, the Doppler isn't really showing much...just a little rain."
Even if it's a lie.

I have a confession though...
When she comes in my room at night because she is scared of the thunder and can see the lightning peeking through her makes me feel better.
I feel better when they are close buy.
When I can feel them right next to me or peek in their rooms and see that they are okay.
I know she is safe. And not as scared close to me.
She is also my baby and at 3 1/2,  I love every second that I still get to snuggle with her or have her lay right next to me. Peaceful and reassured.
And not just her, or him, but me, too.

As a mother there is so much to worry about.
It will never go away.
Sometimes it's hard to have to be the mom, to be the adult, to pretend that everything is always going to be okay.
When you are worried about a family member, you can't let on.
When they ask if lightning could ever really strike a kid, or a grown-up,  you have to say no.
Could a tornado ever come to our house in Illinois? It probably wouldn't.
Could we ever have a hurricane like Haiti and get buried under our houses? No, we don't get those here.
You have to be able to handle it, to have the answers, to reassure them that everything is going to be okay. And maybe try to convince yourself in the process.
I know one thing for sure, being a mother is not for the weak.

* After reading this post I'm thinking it sounds a little cryptic maybe?  It's just another rainy, stormy day here...guess it's affecting my mood. And we can't be picnics and balloons every day, right?


  1. The Boy often asks those "could _____ ever happen?" sorts of questions. I usually start by countering his question with another question: Could I get struck by lightning? Well, could an elephant sit on top of you?

    I go on to explain that lots of things *could* happen, but you keep yourself safe and out of harm's way and have faith that all will be well.

    That is a lesson I'm still trying to master, so maybe by brainwashing everyone around me I'll be able to go with it as well.

    You are not alone in your fears and desire to keep those you love close. Only when they are in your arms can you truly breathe easy. I don't think that ever ends. I'm going to have to get an oxygen tank to help me once they leave the nest.

  2. I feel the same way, having my babies close makes me feel safer. We have a little two bedroom apartment, and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of the place. But even having them that far away sometimes makes me so anxious...

  3. What a great post. I hate to tell you this but I worry MORE now as a Grandmother than even when my kids were little. Maybe because back then I was SO busy, I hardly had time to worry, my kids were like at times 8,7,6, and 1 years old! Now with a Grandbaby number one, I just always worry about her safety!

  4. I SO get this. Hoping for a sunny day and restful hearts for you and yours.


  5. We had a huge LOUD storm the other day, and I was awake for hours wondering if any kids would come in our room...NONE...they slept through it all. We can worry about EVERYTHING because we are moms!

  6. you definitely don't need to be all sunshine and unicorns all the time cause that's just not real. we can all relate to this...feeling scared out of our minds and not letting on for even one second. really, i think mothers are the best actresses out there!

  7. As a mama, storms make me more nervous than they did before. I feel the same way about having my little guy close during one.

  8. Cool photos!!! (one positive thing that comes from all these storms - right?) So, you wrote this Tuesday. How did you fare with Wednesday's big one? It missed us, we are further north but I know it hit BAD further south. Arghhh - when are we getting out of this rut??

  9. glad to hear i am not alone in my craziness :)

    @Brooke: the storm wed. night was terrible, really high winds, tornado warning, etc...ugh...i'm over it!

  10. I feel the same way about flying. I NEVER used to get scared getting on a plane. It was just thrilling, but now the thought of it scares me to death. I can't imagine the panic I'll be in the day one of my babies is going to have to fly somewhere without us. I'll have to get some valium or something, just to make it through his trip.

    Sometimes I catch myself starting the what if questions in my head, and I have to force myself to stop it. I do think it has gotten a little bit better for me now that they're a little bit older, though.

  11. I get you there. You know my comment that one time about being super-scared of storms when I was younger...this summer so far I've been growing a bit...a bit more in my trust in Him. That He will keep us in His hands.
    But gosh, I still love having family in close proximity when a storm blows in.


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