Sometimes It's Not So Simple, Sometimes It Is

Thursday, April 28, 2016


Last night I got out one of my big drawing books, grabbed one of my favorite pens and made myself sit down and write.
And when I say "write", that can mean to actually write, to simply doodle, draw or make a list...Just putting pen to paper is sometimes the best way for me to reflect, figure things out and look at problems differently.
It is often a way for me to get whatever is bothering me OUT of me(even if only temporarily) and somewhere else(on the paper).
Life has been heavy the last week or so and yesterday it was just about to come to a head.
Sitting at work, looking out at yet another gray, rainy, dreary sky, I thought I was going to lose it.
Like seriously.
Several days like this in a row, on top of already feeling emotional and having some tough life things going on lately, has nearly done me in for this week. I really want to throw in the towel.

After work, I came home and looked at the kitchen that needed cleaned and the laundry that needed folded and instead I forced myself to put on my tennis shoes and go for a walk.
As we got about a block from home I told myself that every time I felt down and could not get myself out of a funk, I was going to make myself put on my tennis shoes and just walk. Somewhere, anywhere...For an hour or for 15 minutes.
It helped a little.
When I got home I took a shower, used my favorite shower gel, put on my brand new pajama pants and sat down on the couch with my big drawing book. I wrote and drew and slowly felt a tiny bit better than I had in days.
I am a big believer in not ignoring what the problem or issue is but trying to figure it out- and most importantly, trying to figure out what I need to do to change the situation or change how I am reacting to a situation. 
Very often, like now, there is not a thing you can do to change tough situations though- You cannot control anyone else's actions but your own and sometimes that really sucks.


Today is a new day and I am going to try my hardest to make it better than yesterday.








With Sprinkles

Monday, April 25, 2016



Celebrating the school Spring Band Concert with ice cream afterwards last week. 
I had the lemon-strawberry twist with sprinkles. 
Always with sprinkles. 
Simple family traditions make big memories and I hope we always remember to
celebrate with ice cream. 

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Life Lately...

Tuesday, April 19, 2016


Life lately has been Spring sloooowly, slowly creeping in.
It has been longer evenings and the start of soccer practice(for both kids this Spring!)- the first couple practices were FREEZING but it seems like that has changed now. Thank God.
Life lately has been swimming two nights a week and purging + organizing this old house of ours.
Life lately has been picking flowers and playing in the backyard.
Life lately has been basketball games with cousins and finding a $20 Starbucks gift card from Christmas you forgot all about.

Life lately has been little reminders that my boy might be growing up but he is still super sweet to his Mama. Usually.
Life lately has been lots and lots of books and little succulents everywhere.
Life lately has been exploring on of our very favorite parks with cousins and finding a small field of blue bells.
Life lately has been my first Sunday morning coffee on the front porch and new magazines to drool over.
Life lately is the sweetest dog ever and finding him(once again) in the funniest places, thinking that he is more human than animal.
Life lately has been EVERYTHING in bloom- flowering and green and growing.

Life lately is reminding myself everyday to find the beauty in the busy, stressful and sometimes ugly.
It is stepping back to see how much there is to be thankful for and happy about every single day and to teach my kids to do the same.

Life lately is good.









Daydreaming...

Sunday, April 10, 2016



Current daydream:
Pack the kids and dog up in a yellow VW bus and tour the United States for the next six months.
I'm thinking... Colorado, Arizona, Montana, Oregon, California, Washington, Maine...
The ocean, the mountains, big cities, small towns and all the State Parks and campgrounds in between.
Making memories, seeing new places and experiencing one huge adventure right from the front seat of  a bright yellow bus.

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Coming And Going

Friday, April 1, 2016


This week I have thought, at various times, about this little blog of mine.  Just sitting here.
Like I have nothing to say at all and no time to say it. Sometimes it does seem like that, other times I have so much to say I don't know where to start.
More often than not though, there are things in my head and on my heart and on the very tip of my tongue even,  that stay where they are because they are not for public viewing/reading/hearing.

You know those things you want to say and those days when you feel like there is literally not one person on this planet that understands you, or cares what you have to say anyway.
We all have those days.
When you feel silenced... misunderstood...alone...when you are moving along, keeping your mouth shut because you know it's the best thing to do. The days you don't even feel like trying, or explaining, the days when you know if you said these things out loud you would surely be deemed crazy, like officially.


I have a lot of those days but often they are just moments in my days...not full days.
Sometimes I miss the days of writing or typing, sharing and just getting it all out there, if only for myself--Because really it has always been just for myself, this space and these words and pictures.
It's for me.


So you keep going and there are good days and bad days...
There are days you want to start over, somewhere else where no one knows your name, and there are days when you know you couldn't do this if there wasn't someone around that did know your name, your story and your heart.
These days of coming and going and giving all you have and feeling certain it isn't enough, they are hard. But they are good, too.
There is always good, every single day and that is what I keep telling myself- Some days we need this reminder and some days we absolutely do not need it. It's okay to have both kinds of days.
It's okay to be a contradiction.
It's okay to be up and down, coming and going, hot and cold.
Most days I can't pretend to be anything else, I just don't have it in me.



And that is okay.







Creating Good Habits

Sunday, January 31, 2016

If you need advice or tips on cultivating bad habits, I'm your girl...I can tell you exactly what NOT to do. If you are looking for a little cheer leading on breaking your own bad habits or starting new ones- again, I'm your girl.
The trouble I have is starting and sticking with my OWN good + positive habits and letting the negative ones go.

That is the tough part and that is the part I need the most work on right now. Lord help me.
I know I am not alone.
I always have the best intentions, and usually keep the majority of these intentions to myself I might add, because who wants everyone else to know when they fail? Not me. Not every time anyway.
And sometimes they last for a few days... Or a week... or less.
Sometimes I really do stick with them- that actually does happen sometimes.
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When school started this year I decided that I was going to make lunches ahead of time(the night before) because I absolutely did not want to be making two lunches every morning, or even think about lunches at all in the mornings anymore.
I decided I was going to prep everything for the kid's lunches on Sundays and that they would pack their own lunches every night before school and stick them in the fridge... And guess what?
I started that in AUGUST and we are still doing it. Seriously.
I realize the super-organized, prepared mom would laugh at me for thinking that is such a big deal, but for me it really is. It works, it is so much easier on me and + the kids and it actually makes my life easier. And I have stuck with it for like 6 whole months. That is an actual miracle.
Tomorrow is the first day of a new month and brings with it the chance for a fresh start, in many areas for me.
Back to setting my alarm extra early and for daily personal challenges this month.
I really wish that  just deciding that changes need to be made was enough for me- But it's not. I think it takes a lot of starting over, pep talks to ourselves and trying again and again.
A goal of mine is for more writing-for my own enjoyment, for keeping track and for accountability.

Hope you had a great weekend- And a great January!

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Nine Random Things On A Sunday

Sunday, January 3, 2016



1. Coloring as meditation, 2. THIS sunset...You have no idea how HAPPY this made me! , 3. Stacks of magazines to look through at the book store- one of me + Charlotte's favorite things to do.
4. I have spent way too much time hibernating in my bed lately, 5. Coffee in bed(See #4), 6. Sunlight, praise Jesus!
7. Twinkle lights forever, 8. Still no snow and it's January. Crazy., 9. Little Reminders everywhere.


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