Last night I got out one of my big drawing books, grabbed one of my favorite pens and made myself sit down and write.
And when I say "write", that can mean to actually write, to simply doodle, draw or make a list...Just putting pen to paper is sometimes the best way for me to reflect, figure things out and look at problems differently.
It is often a way for me to get whatever is bothering me OUT of me(even if only temporarily) and somewhere else(on the paper).
Life has been heavy the last week or so and yesterday it was just about to come to a head.
Sitting at work, looking out at yet another gray, rainy, dreary sky, I thought I was going to lose it.
Several days like this in a row, on top of already feeling emotional and having some tough life things going on lately, has nearly done me in for this week. I really want to throw in the towel.
After work, I came home and looked at the kitchen that needed cleaned and the laundry that needed folded and instead I forced myself to put on my tennis shoes and go for a walk.
As we got about a block from home I told myself that every time I felt down and could not get myself out of a funk, I was going to make myself put on my tennis shoes and just walk. Somewhere, anywhere...For an hour or for 15 minutes.
It helped a little.
When I got home I took a shower, used my favorite shower gel, put on my brand new pajama pants and sat down on the couch with my big drawing book. I wrote and drew and slowly felt a tiny bit better than I had in days.
I am a big believer in not ignoring what the problem or issue is but trying to figure it out- and most importantly, trying to figure out what I need to do to change the situation or change how I am reacting to a situation.
Very often, like now, there is not a thing you can do to change tough situations though- You cannot control anyone else's actions but your own and sometimes that really sucks.
Today is a new day and I am going to try my hardest to make it better than yesterday.