So... I am going to be honest and just put it all out there.
These days here lately have felt so hard.
Just hard... For a lot of different, little reasons and for no reason at all.
It's the Holiday season where things are supposed to be oh-so-happy, right?
All I feel is stress and anxiety and dread.
In the last week I have somehow became the person that fantasizes about being on a beach at Christmas time,
my kids waking up and opening their presents in a hotel, with no Christmas tree and all of their extended family across the country.
I used to think that would be the saddest, most pathetic thing ever.
Now it sounds like a relief.
I don't know what's wrong with me, or how I got here some days.
No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer who doesn't love Christmas, right?
The funny thing is, I don't even want to be around that person.
To me, regular stress and anxiety is magnified 1,000 times during this season.
And really, some days and weeks and seasons of our lives are hard enough when it's not the holiday season.
It sucks when you can't get out of your own head and you can't just flip a switch like you wish you could.
Sometimes it's harder than that.
These days will pass, and there will be new ones and they will be easier.
I know this.
Until then I will just keep plugging along, just like everyone else.
And you know what?
It's okay to admit that these days, that some days, are just hard.