Hard Days

Sunday, December 14, 2014

So... I am going to be honest and just put it all out there.
These days here lately have felt so hard.
Just hard... For a lot of different, little reasons and for no reason at all.
It's the Holiday season where things are supposed to be oh-so-happy, right?
All I feel is stress and anxiety and dread.
In the last week I have somehow became the person that fantasizes about being on a beach at Christmas time,
my kids waking up and opening their presents in a hotel, with no Christmas tree and all of their extended family across the country.
I used to think that would be the saddest, most pathetic thing ever.
Now it sounds like a relief.

I don't know what's wrong with me, or how I got here some days.
No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer who doesn't love Christmas, right?
The funny thing is, I don't even want to be around that person.
To me, regular stress and anxiety is magnified 1,000 times during this season.
And really, some days and weeks and seasons of our lives are hard enough when it's not the holiday season.

It sucks when you can't get out of your own head and you can't just flip a switch like you wish you could.
Sometimes it's harder than that.
These days will pass, and there will be new ones and they will be easier.
I know this.
Until then I will just keep plugging along, just like everyone else.
And you know what?
It's okay to admit that these days, that some days, are just hard.



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  2. yes. it IS absolutely okay to admit that, and even live that. sometimes we just can't will what we want. we just can't. even if we want to feel different so freaking badly. i hope that peace washes over you soon. not because it's not okay to have a hard day, but because crappy emotions just compound the everyday difficulties that we have to deal with even when things are going smoothly. and because we all need relief from burdens. feel better, friend!

    1. Thank you Sara, you are the sweetest! It's just a funk... Probably a pretty big one, but it'll pass like they always do. Thanks for your sweet comments! 😊

  3. I'm sorry to hear this sweetie. Christmas is such a stressful time of year. I always find there are so many expectations around it, not just from ourselves but from everyone, why do we do it to ourselves, really? I've tried this year ot to stress out about the little things. Breaking eberything down and tackling one thing at a time and for once it actually feels as though it is working. Yes there are people I have forgotten to send cards to, but you kow what, it's just a card, I'll just be more organised with that next year. There are days out I would liked to have taken that I've not got round to but it's not the end of the world.
    I really hope things are looking a lot brighter for you and that you and your family have an amazing Christmas.
    Lots of love Amy, Gem x x x


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