Blogging The Truth...Or Not

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

So,  yesterday I  mentioned that I was reading Kelle Hampton's book, Bloom.
You do know Kelle Hampton of the famed Enjoying Life's Little Things, right? *(eta: Enjoying The Small Things is the correct name of her blog)*
Well, I googled her name to add the link to the book and was a little surprised by what came up...
but then again, not really.

People have very strong opinions of her, either love her or don't love her at all.
Lots of people are of the opinion that she sugar-coats things, doesn't talk about Down syndrome
enough...only shares the good stuff, doesn't give a true picture of her life, etc.
People are annoyed/bewildered and frustrated that her blog has rose to celebrity status, that she
always looks perfect, that her life is filled with tea parties, cute outfits and nights out with friends.

I am not here to defend her or her blog, just to give my personal opinion.
I like her attitude.
I love her pictures, I think she is a very talented photographer and a good writer.
I do not think her life is perfect.
Because I don't think anyone's is and you shouldn't either.
I do think she chooses not to share much about the bad days, the rough parenting moments,
the losing your temper and running on little patience kind of days....and I personally relate most
to those who choose to show the good, the cute, the happy and a little bit of the ugly, too.
But that's just me.


Some people feel that they cannot connect with her; they feel inferior, like they are not doing
enough or aren't good enough parents, friends or partners.
And it's not just her but I have heard and read the similar things concerning Soulemama,
The Pioneer Woman...and so on.
They are not good enough crafters, cooks, bakers or photographers.
They don't measure up as moms.
But for me, this isn't really just about her or her blog,  it's about any blog you read or any person's
life you look at from the outside and feel like you are getting the whole picture.
You're not.
Hell, sometimes we aren't seeing the whole picture in our own lives.

By blogging, we put ourselves out there by choice and risk being judged and misunderstood.
What to share...what not to to not look too bad...or too good(luckily this is one I have
never personally had to worry about)...too crazy, whiny or ungrateful...too judgmental, insensitive, etc.
This is just a tiny slice of our lives here, these blogs.

If you knew me in real life, you would know that I need to lose weight, I don't particularly like
to cook, I can be a smart-ass, sometimes I cuss too much, I am not super particular about my house,
I think kids should be allowed to make messes and get dirty, I am not real organized, I like to drink
the occasional margarita(and beer and wine) and my car looks like someone threw a fraternity
party in a year ago...and they never cleaned up after it.


But the hard or not-so-pretty-things are not what I always choose to share on here.
I might choose to tell you that the last time I went out with friends to our favorite little
hole-in-the-wall bar, my (sober)friend dropped me off at home and when I went to get out of her
huge SUV I actually fell out, into the neighbors yard and broke the heel off of my shoe in the process.
And I might have almost peed my pants laughing but thankfully made it to the bathroom.
OR, I might choose not to share that because you might judge me and think things like;
Isn't she a mom? She's always going out... Who is watching the kids? 
Just sayin'.

I would love to hear what you think...what are your personal opinions on all of this...
on blogging and honesty and being judged and all that jazz..?
You don't even have to agree with me at all, just share : )
Happy Wednesday, y'all.
Have a good one.


  1. So funny you should post this. I'm working through this right now too. I always wanted to have the blog with crafts, recipes, happy photos, and giveaways. But that's not what my life is. I've made the decision to post about my healing process more. I may lose some followers. It might be heavy for some. But whatever. At the end of the day, I started my blog for my children. Because it's out there. Forever. And they can view it whenever they wish and see who I really was/am.

    Still having doubts and worries but I am me. And that is all I need to be. (Same with you.)

  2. This is a really great post Amy!

    I think no matter what community that we put ourselves into we are going to have these kinds of feelings. Up at our kids school,church,place of work etc...

    I like Kellee's blog. Sometimes she annoys me with the overuse of the words dude and sister but that's just her style.

    I don't have 1% of the followers she does but even I sometimes have to pick and choose if I really want to put it all out there and wear my heart on my sleeve. Sometimes I do,sometimes I don't.

    Like you I'm not so sure if I should share about my night out with the girls or the fact that I called my husband a d-bag more once yesterday!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this and now I'm going to find out who Soulemama is!

  3. Love this post. I've been wrestling with this same issue on my blog. I've written way less these days's so easy to be judged by those I know well who read my words. I've found myself being more insecure in the blogging world. I like Kellee...and plan on reading her book. I love your little world here, and thank you for your words today!

  4. I agree with what you are saying. As bloggers, we get to pick and choose what we want to share. I don't always share the good just like I don't always share the bad. I don't always share every little thing that I am struggling with. I choose, a lot of the time, to focus on the positive, the joy, the beauty.
    I haven't read Kelle's blog before but now I am going to check her out.
    Loved this post Amy!

  5. Oh girl I did the exact same thing. I was looking her up to see when she was going to be on the today show and I stumbled onto a site that was just bashing her. I love Kelle. She's real. She may have made a decision to look at life half full but that was a decision, and personally one id much rather read. Her life is certainly not all roses and rainbows, but she makes the most of it...squeezing out every last drop of goodness. I admire her for that. As for the haters...jealousy is just an ugly thing.

  6. When I started blogging I was totally content with blogging what I wanted, and when I wanted. But as I got more followers and they started leavning comments, I suddenly realized I had an audience that was really reading and I became very worried about what I said, how I said it and what other might think of me. And I got caught up in wanting to "keep-up" with the other bloggers I followed - posting pretty photos, and blogging 5 days a week. Suddenly, blogging became a chore of sorts - it was one more thing I HAD to do. Slowly I am learning that I just want to be me on my blog. Nobody expects anything more than that. And if I don't blog for two weeks, then I don't blog for two weeks. And if my photos don't get tons of views and comments on Flickr, it doesn't mean people don't like.
    In the blogging world it can be hard to not take everything personally, even if it's as simple as looking at someone's blog and comparing yourself to the tiny sliver of life they are choosing to show you.
    I love your blog because you are you! And you tell us about the bad days and hard days - you are honest. :)

  7. Well said. Personally, I like to read blogs that are happy, pink and shiny. They lift me up when I feel blah, they inspire me and make my heart sing again when I lost the words.

    But that doesn't mean I don't know that the person behind the blog is a lot more than the sum of the things she/he is sharing online. Ofcourse there is. But that's not the point.

    Every blog has it's own focus, it's own intention, it's own voice. I can only admire the people who really found their own blog voice, whatever way it sounds.

  8. I have to say I agree with you 100%

    And Its so not our place to judge others especially about a small glimpse we see either in real life or on their blog. I love the space she creates on her blog and I think she loves her kids fiercely and thats all that truly matters

  9. I think nobody should judge ANYONE else because they aren't that person and they don't really know every detail and they shouldn't judge someone just based off the internet!
    I love Kelle's blog, I love the positive happy vibe! She's uplifting, because she encourages all of us to find our HAPPY and to go forth and do things! Love that about her!
    I love your blog! I don't share the bad stuff because I don't want to put myself out there like that.
    I need to lose weight too and sometimes I cuss(not often, but still I do)!
    I still adore you and your blog!
    I take people for who they are and who you are is beautiful!

  10. I too read her blog.I too am a blogger.NOONES life is perfect.I too choose not to share some things.Some people think I am the most wonderful mother. Little do they know. I try,but...Still not perfect.I also have a SIL who blogs and has a daugter with autism. Most of her posts are happy too...She chooses to share happy things, perhaps for fantasy or a way to get away from stress she endures everyday. I don't mind at all.I love the pictures and words people have to is still a part of them even if it is sugar coated a bit. Maybe people are just jealous too. Or they don't have anything better to do. I also love your blog,I love that you are real...I loved this post.In the end I too have a weight issue,my car is embarrasingly messy.My toilets need a cleaning, My garage...well,you can't park a car in it...Theres more... Anyway's as Ingrid Micaelson sings...take me te way I am. Thanks for sharing. I will only keep going to Kelli's blog and yours and oters for I too think you are all beautiful even if I can't see what's beind the closed doors. I know the truth! HA...

    Mica @ The Child's Paper

  11. I haven't read those blogs (yet), so I don't know, but I do know I like blogs that are honest and real, that are not only one way (cutesy perfect) or the other (downer whiners), a balance somewhere in between is good, I think.

    It's hard not to compare lives/circumstances we see in certain blogs but that is a sure fire way to bring ourselves down in a fit of self-pity. I love that phrase, comparison is the thief of joy. So true.

    I enjoy your blog very much and appreciate that you show us your life, glimpses of both sides. :)

    Your photos are always fun, whimsical and FAB too. Do you use a DSLR and/or your iPhone for most of your shots? Which camera apps are your favorite?

  12. Love every ding dang word of this. (Or every $%#^ word, if you prefer.) ;)

    I have experienced both ends. People have accused me of being "too happy" and then complained when I got real and ugly, too.

    You just can't please everyone, so I try to err on the side of being honest. Mostly. Of course I don't air every piece of disappointing laundry, because I blog (in part) to find the happy side of life. I want my focus to be elsewhere.

    I also find it increasingly important to put my humanity on display from time to time, because in doing that, the focus shifts off of me and onto Jesus, the one who fixes me.

    Anyway, I could go on and on, but my kid is screeching in his crib.


  13. Ahhh, I love your honesty Amy~! This is what kept me coming back to your blog in the first place. Your ability to just be real. We are all moms just hanging in there, doing the best we know how. Those so-called perfect blogs can quickly make a momma feel like a less-than. I have felt it myself, and have learned to avoid the blogs that make me feel that way.
    Its kinda funny you would bring up the Hampton blog, as I dont remember to read it much but love it & the first time I did, I sent a link to my little sister whos little boy is autistic, thinking that she would enjoy it(despite the fact she is not a blog reader). I asked her later what she thought and told me "her life is too perfect, shes too perfect. Hell I didnt even get a shower the last two days much less, craft something, bake something and dress in the latest fashion. It made me feel bad so I didnt go back". So there you have it. Its not that she had anything against her, just that it was hard not to compare. I think we all get that.

    Anyways, love your blog. Sorry to be anonymous, while I have photo skills- sadly I need some help in the blog design area:)working on it.

  14. Your post reminded me that I touched on this some time ago. My thoughts are here ----->

    Your blog is just that...your blog. You are free to make it whatever you want it to be!

  15. Thank you so much for sharing this! I LOVE Kelle's blog and just ordered her book, but that doesn't mean there haven't been times where I think "gosh, doesn't anything bad happen!"

    As so many have shared, I like reading blogs that are inspiring and share uplifiting messages, but as a blogger I really do have to weigh what I want to share and what I don't.

    Her blog is simply that, her blog. Who am I to judge? If I find a blog I don't relate to I simply don't read it.

    Our voices have value and I think that we owe it to ourselves to share the things we are comfortable with and trust that others will either come along side of us or quietly move onto the next blog.

    Gosh, that was rambly- I hope it all made sense :)

  16. i feel like this: we're not in high school anymore. if we don't like someone, we're not forced to see them in school everyday. so if we don't like somebody's blog, who cares? just don't read it. i don't think we're allll meant to be friends...we don't have to read everyone's blog. the same goes for my own blog...if you don't care for it, don't read it ya know?? if you think i share too much or if you think i'm a phony, don't read's your/our choice :)

  17. I'm so going through a blogging lessons moment (I just, in fact, a few minutes ago, posted about this very subject). Our blogs are our spaces and they have to fit us, this changes as our readership changes, as our lives change, as we change. We don't all read the same blogs, heck, I don't even read the same blogs now that I used to read a few years ago.
    And our writing is, inevitably, influenced by who reads us. As you say, we choose what to put out there. And I, personally, am of the opinion that if someone doesn't like what I post they are free to not read me, no hard feelings. I don't blog to keep up with the joneses, some people do, and that's their deal. Who am I to judge?
    Also, I like Kelle Hampton too, I just don't assiduously follow. It doesn't have to be black or white.

  18. I prefer bloggers who focus on the happy, with the occasional reality check thrown in. I cannot abide blogs that complain and grumble non stop or post every single little thing their child said or did...especially if the child is a teen, because let's face it...that ain't cute! I have occasionally read Kelle's blog, but for whatever reason it isn't on my daily read list. I was unaware she had even written a book until you blogged about it.

  19. you just nailed it baby!
    your best post ever.
    funny. true. opinionated. AND gracious.
    you are my hero today.
    lets meet for margaritas tonight.

  20. We're the authors and they are the readers. Some may like us, some don't. Just like I would with a book I didn't care for, my readers are more than welcome to close my blog and not read it. No one is perfect, and I think we are all old enough to know that by now. As the author we can share the good/bad/ugly whenever we want. That's our choice. Great post, Amy!!

  21. I really like this post Amy, it's thoughtful and real. I love Kelle's blog. We all chose to show the world, whether online or in person, certain parts of ourselves. She has chosen to talk about many of life's glass-half-full moments, but that doesn't make them any less real.

  22. Thank you for writing this. I've had mixed feelings about Kelle's blog and others like it. Initially I love reading them. The happy, happy, joy, joy lifts me up makes me feel it too...and then it gets old. REALLY old. There needs to be a balance between the sucktastic and the fantastic. Otherwise, people are either going to get tired of the negative and tired of the positive. My favorite blogs keep it real. I share in their joys and their sorrows.

    So when you tell me that you fell out of your friends SUV and almost peed your pants. I busted a gut laughing because that's real. And when you shared your experiences with anxiety it made me want to hold your hand and tell you everything will be fine. That's how a blog should be.

    Sometimes I feel that bigtime bloggers begin to adopt their blog persona and lose themselves in their blog brand. And readers will eventually see through that.

    I'd like to meet Kelle in person. First of all to ask her why she never answered my emails about how to make her famous photobooks, and then to have a real conversation with her. I bet it will be different than what's on her blog. Because real is always better.

  23. I am just nodding my head here. I agree with everything you say,amy. it is simple really: if you don´t like what someone is writing on a blog STOP reading it, gosh! it is not like we have to read every blog out there and agree with everything. i have always loved Kelles blog and i love her language and what she writes. i am pretty sure kelle and her family has faced the rough spots of DS but their attitude about all of that is great! how would you like to have a mom write about you and all your problems (that you can´t do anything about) instead of having a mom who just sees what you can do and the magic of things you might have not been able to do.

  24. Oh exactly. Yes, I post what I want to post when I want to post because I want to post it. If I don't like it I take it down. Right? We are all just seeing a portion of lives here. That is it. Just a portion that we allow or not to allow people to see. Like right now I could tell everyone that I'm going to go grey with worry over Bean's ASD testing. I could publish the results of the two reports I have in my possession. I could tell everyone that on Friday I got in a car accident. Or on Easter I felt like sh*t for not going to church.

    It is all about perspective. Also- I can just see you fallin down-laughing so hard- because I've been there. And its too damn bad that you live in Indiana. lol! We need to get together to go thrifting, photographing, and then margaritaing. Just sayin... :)

  25. I completely agree with you. I think Kelle has a great outlook on life and I appreciate the way she can tell a story. Of course she has struggles, I think that is a given but she chooses to focus on the positive and I get that. I dont need to see the uly aspects of her life to feel better about myself. I read each blog for different reasons. I read Kelle's for her gorgeous pictures and fun attitude and yours because you seem like a friend I'd like to have IRL....:)

  26. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, we all know that. But I really wonder why, if you don't like what she or any blogger writes, don't you just stop reading her blog?
    People who are unhappy sometimes like to spread their misery. Isn't that sad?
    Blogging is a creative process and like all art each person gets to create their own way. In my opinion, that's what makes it great.

  27. Ha ha, I want to go out with you!
    I agree with you whole heartedly. I used to worry more about what others thought about my own blog in the early, almost 7 years ago (holy crap!), but now I don't care so much. Those of us with blogs choose to show what we want. I personally like to see the good stuff - in mine and other's blogs, but not fakey-good. Shoot, it's tough enough to do the real stuff, I don't have time for fake!

  28.'s interesting. I haven't read her blog, but when you mentioned that people hate on her because she doesn't air out all the dirty laundry, it just struck me that that says a lot more about them than her: that they somehow NEED to see other people's screw ups to make themselves feel better, to feel all right about themselves.

    That said, I think the blog posts that stand out most to me are the ones like this one where the author has made me think. And they are the ones where I've caught a glimpse of something raw and real. BUT not every post about the doldrums of life do this. Just because you're b*tching about the crap in your life or fessing up about your imperfections doesn't mean you're really writing something raw and real. I like the posts that dig deep. Not every post a blogger writes can or should do that, of course. For example, I like that your blog posts the pretty stuff. I love your photos and humor and glass-half-full attitude. But I also like that every once in a while we catch a glimpse of a different side. It's not what you write about so much as the way in which it's written.

    And that, I think, is the most important thing for me as a reader: authenticity. Some of us are pessimists, some are optimists. No one's blog has to follow any particular formula. It just should be real and authentic: your true voice. It takes time to develop our voices and learn how to best express them. But our voice should each be our own, and as long as we're being real, I don't think any of us should be judged too harshly for it.

  29. thank you for introducing me to kelle's blog. I love blogs that are happy, bright, positive and fun (including yours!!). If i wanted negative, laundry, messy and never-ending then i could turn around and look at my house. No when i get a wee break i want to see happy and enjoy and get great ideas. so thank you :)

  30. You go girl. I don't think our blogs are very similar - but I do think we have a lot in common. We each do what we do for different reasons and we all have choices to make. That's what makes the world go round and that's why I luv ya!

  31. It kind of breaks my heart about the negativity surrounding Kelle, or any other blogger. My take is that if you chose to write what is on your heart, then that is what you should blog about. I don't "do" blogs that make fun of other people or put people down, or are just downright ugly. Other than that, good for Kelle if she wants to see the good and write about that. There are no blog rules that say what is right and what is wrong to blog about. This topic is so touchy, and I've seen so many opinions on it. If you write a fashion blog, people call you shallow. If you write about your kids, they mock you and label you a mom-blogger. If you post recipes, they say you are a boring food blogger. There is much more to life and much more behind the scenes than what is put on a blog. I say, go for it Kelle. If she can spread some love and happiness, that is great. We all know that her life is not perfect, and that is her choice to share it or not. Great post.

  32. I agree, no one's life is perfect so we should not judge. And yes, of course we will be judged if we put ourselves out there as bloggers (and like you that is one of the reasons, besides my provacy and the privacy of those close to me, that I don't write everything on my blog. I also try to show the good and bad and try to keep things reasonably light because I feel my blog should be a distraction from the nitty gritty of every day life but that doesn't mean I don't write a heartfelt post every now and then or enjoy reading much deeper, soulsearching blogs than mine.


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