Maybe defeated isn't the best word but it's the only one I could come up with... so I'm sticking with it. I had high hopes for today. And yesterday. And the last few weeks even. It's not all bad but sometimes it's not all good either. Life and stuff. All of it. Ya know? Usually you can push through it and not let it destroy your day...and sometimes you can't. And by you, I do mean, me...and you. I think it's funny and actually quite dumb that every time I want to admit things are not as grand as they may seem...I feel guilty. I'm not trying to pretend that they are always great or keep up any kind of 'image', it's not that. It's just that I always feel guilty for complaining or whining. Someone always has it worse than me and things could always be worse, of course I know that. So I feel like I don't have the right to complain. I don't know if that is just me or a female thing...? But I think it's kinda dumb.
Recently I was talking to a friend and we were talking about an acquaintance (neither of which read this blog, just so ya know) and the rough time she was having and my friend said, "What does she have to be depressed/upset/stressed about?" And I kept thinking about that comment later and how we don't know always really know what is going on in other people's lives...not really. Just because we don't think they should be upset/stressed/depressed doesn't mean they shouldn't. Or aren't. I am guilty of this at times, I admit it. I may be able to handle something wonderfully, or without much effort, that would push you over the edge...and vice versa. It's just a reminder to myself, and all of us. Everyone has struggles. And they are all different. And they don't always make sense to other people. Something I could laugh off yesterday and joke about might make me want to stay in bed today, pull the covers over my head and hide away from the world. But occasional complaining does not equal a lack of gratitude or thankfulness for everything else I have. Sorry if this is not what you came here for today but thanks so much for indulging me. Today on the phone my mom said; "Keep your chin up, Amy." and that's exactly what I intend to...after today anyway. And I promise to be back next time with a light-hearted post full of pretty pictures. Just trying to keep it real, folks. And reminding you to do the same. XO
We've all been there, you know. For me, I don't see it as complaining. It's not complaining to acknowledge life is hard at times. And it helps us grow to process our hard times, and work them out onto paper (or screen). Be gracious to yourself, because we are stretched and challenged in different ways; nothing can be compared to your unique journey, and what you feel during the ups and down matters. It matters, and we care. So no more guilt, okay? All the "dreary" pictures and words are beautiful in their own way, because they're yours. And you're beautiful.
ReplyDeleteamy, isn't leslie good?
ReplyDeleteits so nice to have permission to let it out sometimes, and she gives me permission all the time! i am lucky that she is my best pal....and i agree with everything she said in her comment. thank you for being brave enough to share your real feelings and not not just give us a pretend person to relate to on your blog. that'd be suuuuper dumb. and boring. not to mention make us all annoyed.
We all feel this way, and it's all part of the roller coaster of life with it's ups and downs, and I think it just as important to feel everything, and express it. I agree with you that we never really know what's going on in someones life, and everybody has their own reality different to us all. Nice post, and photos. I love the ducks with the one white one in the middle, and they do seem so cold, quiet and desolate. Another way to look at cold winter without it being all christmas and colour and fun. I enjoyed them! Sonia
ReplyDeleteI completely understand. It all ebbs and flows... I tell myself every day "this too shall pass" about something. And this time of year is so emotionally charged and crazy that it's hard to stay positive through it all.
ReplyDeleteChin up :)
A great big (virtual) hug to you.
ReplyDeleteThis is spot-on, Amy! We all have our crosses to bare...and needing to vent or going to lean on someone does not, in any way, make someone ungrateful! It just makes them human. We all need to be compassionate. And I totally get the..."Something I could laugh off yesterday and joke about might make me want to stay in bed today, pull the covers over my head and hide away from the world"...I couldn't have said it better myself!
ReplyDeleteI think it's a female thing. Although I do have some friends who don't think this way, but those are the ones we wonder if they really ARE female! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's so true. I'm guilty of wondering what right some have to complain about sometimes. I'm trying hard to realize that there is so much more behind the scenes that I know nothing about.
i think we are taught that complaining means negativity, but really it's about sharing what you feel and what you are experiencing. it's healthy and a normal response to stress. i know it's easy to think of people who "have it worse," but you are the only one who can fully understand what you are going through ... and that is all that matters. xo - sending care.
ReplyDelete....hmm. what everyone else said!! they're good.
ReplyDeleteand yeah...it's good to keep it real, dear.
True dat.
ReplyDeleteI've been in a funk all damn day for no reason at all. The Mr. is finally back in town after being gone all week, I got sewing time, I'm off school for the next two weeks, it's *Christmas*, the Spurs are winning like mad...
I should be doing a dance. Instead I watched 50 First Dates in TBS and burst into tears. WTF?
awesome post, amy!
ReplyDeletefirstly, those pictures are STUNNING! wow.
ReplyDeleteand yes, I agree with what has been said. Vent away
That white goose is my favorite goose.
ReplyDeleteComplain away! I always told my students that someone else's problems may seem small and insignificant to you, but they are very big, scary and important to that person. Hope your days get better!
The first time I came to your blog was in the summer when you did a post about the kids doing laundry on the front porch. After that you did a post about how things "really" were (shooing them inside so you didn't have to talk to a neighbor, etc...) Aside from your awesome photos, and your vintagey stuff, I loved your honesty...that's what kept me coming back. I joined coffee hoping to get to know you, and become part of your community...it was really my first attempt at throwing myself into the blog world. After a few months of being a loyal follower, I felt like I needed to find more reciprocal relationships, so I wrote you off (let's face it...putting yourself out there in an attempt to make friends, and coming up empty(ish) can be quite depressing). But, as you can see, I keep coming back...because of your awesome photos and, especially today, your honesty. Sorry you are feeling down. Whatever it is...it will pass, and you will find yourself empowered and inspired again. I have a fortune cookie slip taped to the top of my netbook that says "you have to experience failure to appreciate success". You are not alone. Hope you're feeling better soon. :)
ReplyDeleteNot every day is magic. That's what my mom tells me when I have a bad day (or more than a day). Admitting that doesn't equal a lack of gratitude. The key is not to dwell on it. It's just life...honest life. Some of it's really, really good. Some of it's ho hum. Some of it's kinda ick, and some of it's downright bad. But all mixed together it's something special. Hope your days are looking brighter...albeit very snowy and cold. :)
ReplyDeleteMan Amy, you know how to nail it & I say ditto on Leslie & your mama's comments! I was so upset after my suv was broken into (thank you for your comment!). it took me a few days to get back to myself. i am sure people were wondering why i couldn't just be happy & move on. i also have so much to be thankful for, but somehow real life can be really hard!! i think that might be a little secret among us women: show the pretty, toned & manicured self but don't show the sad, mad, or unshowered self. it used to drive me a bit crazy when my kids were younger! everyone was striving to be Marthaish while i was just trying to get a load of laundry or dishes done! nobody wanted to talk about how hard it really is to raise kids! and be a good wife...
ReplyDeleteI love that you keep it real. your photos are absolutely stunning! hugs, Cathy
i love when you keep it real, it just makes me like you even more. can i just say i second every little thing you said in the post, cause i do. i'm not sure why our society tells us that we must be "up" all the time because that's just impossible, and definitely not real life. and the reminder you shared to not judge others trials is so important.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing what's on your heart amy!
Even the most cheery person can feel down (even though they might not show it to other people)! We live in an imperfect world. Life can be tough due to that. It is better to talk about disapointments than to bottle up those feelings. That is why they invented "talk therapy"! :) The Christmas season is full of people who get depressed due to expectations of a perfect holiday! I hope your spirits are feeling better now!
ReplyDeleteYour photos are not dreary to me though. I DO love the colors of black & white, gray, & blues. I think these set of photos are very soothing to the eye, and restful for my soul. Maybe because we don't have the opportunity to view snow where we live?!! What a blessing to get to experience that change of scenery!! :)
OK...as I was scrolling back up I noticed how there was ONE LONE white duck in the two photos! Wow!!! beautiful!! :)
ReplyDelete