Tuesday, November 29, 2011

It is Tuesday night and after a long evening of haircuts and supper and cleaning up
 and dealing with two crazy dogs and baths and trying to figure out what needs to be on my
 grocery list for the week and watching a little bit of the Madeline movie 
and reading books before bed...
now I am sitting quietly on the couch by myself.
So quiet.
Eric has a late class so I am at it solo on Tuesdays.

So I make myself a cup of sleepytime vanilla tea and settle myself on the couch
under a big, warm blanket to do a little blog reading.
And when I do, I wonder the same thing that I have been wondering a lot lately. 
How do so many people seem to know what they should be doing out there...
the answers to big questions...and little do they know? 
Where they should be, what the next step is, where to go from here...

And just so this isn't confused as an  "I am unhappy with my life post"... it's not  that at all,
it's just more of a feeling of not knowing what's next in some ways for me and my little family.

Personally, I am talking about things like jobs and school decisions and where 
we go from here and what the future looks like and I have to say, I have no 
idea about any of it. Not a clue at the moment.
I hear (read) people saying things like; they were called to do it, they just knew it was meant
 to be, it was obvious to them it was the right decision....
And don't get me wrong, I believe them and I don't completely hate them for it....
but how do they know it is the right decision? 
The best decision?
And how come I don't seem to know anything for sure lately?

I don't expect a map to fall into my lap telling me each and every decision I should make, 
which path to take but I would just like a hint in the general direction.
Ya know?
And usually I don't get super hung up on these things, by nature I am just not a big planner.
There was never a hardcore timeline for marriage or kids or houses or  jobs or any of that for
me because although I think it's fine to make plans and have some direction,
 I know that life doesn't really follow the plan we often have in mind most of the time anyway.
But still.
It would be really awesome if the universe threw me a bone...

Maybe I should have titled this "Directionless".
Yeah, I think that would have been more appropriate.
And totally unrelated, but kinda not, can I just tell you how much I love Parenthood?
I am kind of late coming in on this one, but I LOVE it.

Ps- I am so happy I get to catch little things like this every day.


  1. Drinking tea and sitting under a warm blanket sounds amazing! Beautiful pictures. As far the knowing the next step, I wonder about this too. But what i've been telling myself lately and actually believing is...In this moment your right where you should be, when it's time to move forward or do something different you will know.

    How you will know, i'm not sure. You just will.

    *hugs friend*

  2. Such pretty photos, Amy. I wonder all of these same things most of the time, too. It feels like I don't know where I'm headed most days. And it seems like everyone else has it figured out, just like you said. I am SO right there with you on this post. Sending hugs your way. :) PS - I am SO loving Parenthood, too!

  3. I think the direction will come and when it does YOU will know for sure.
    Parenthood is AWESOME!!!!!
    Get the first seasons from the library and catch up:)
    have a happy day amy

  4. Oh, my goodness...that photo in your header is the BOMB! I have no idea where I should be, or the next step...I take it a day at a time and lean heavily on my faith. And I think I might need to start watching Parenthood.

  5. Firt of all Tuesday nights are 'my' nights too because F plays soccer. If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a plan, I have never had specific deadlines. The older you get the more you realize life takes its own twists and turns. And like you, I got there a little late, but I love love love being a mom even if it is exhausting and difficult and sometimes brings out the worst side of me, a side I didn't even know existed. But I cherish the moments with my family and try to live in the now as much as I can.

  6. that last photo melts me.
    and yes, life is funny that way, just when you get comfortable, is when it throws a curve and you have to get out of your comfort zone and re-evaluate! it's always like this for me! I am never SURE of anything!
    just be YOU! do what's right for you and your family and don't worry about what everyone else is knowing or doing! they really don't have it all figured out, they just THINK they do!

  7. I'm feeling a bit of this too Amy. There are some big changes coming up in my life, some I can work with and some that are leaving me thinking "what do I do next???!"

    Keep on keepin' on, I guess!

  8. This really speaks to me because my husband and I say THE SAME THING! I wish I could have been "called" to do something early on but instead I am almost 40 and the path is a bit, murky..... than I had hoped! Oh, well. You just roll with it I guess. I trust that the path I am on is the right one. Not because of some mystical master plan but because this is where I am and I am grateful to be here. In this moment.

    Good luck!
    p.s. still enjoy your photos so much!

  9. I feel the same way...parenthood is such an amazing time for me and I love it so much. I wish someone would pay me for my ideas so I could stay home and play with my girls....keep dreaming.

  10. Yep sweet- i hear that calling- parenthood is awesoooome!!!
    even the bad bits are good!

    if it helps- you know how little direction i have at the moment- yep where moving back to Oz...yep we still have our house there...yep it's the end of an amazing adventure here...but that's about it...there are so many unknowns- so many things assumed and thought...

    i'm going with a good deal of happiness and a big whack of directionless....

    melissa xxx


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