{it's all how you look at it}

So, I've held off on my I'm-Dreading-Kindergarten post as long as I possibly can.

Please leave now if you're not in the mood for self-absorbed whining, obsessing and to be honest, 

a little bit of theatrics on my part.

I've warned you.

School starts in just two weeks and although I am not feeling that all out panic yet, it's coming.

I know it is.

Sending my first child off to school has always felt so far off, it's one of those things that you know is coming but it feels so far in the future that you just push it to the back of your mind.

But now here we are.
All too soon.

Scheduling our orientation, finding out the name of his teacher, waiting for the school supply list to come in the mail, talking a little about school every day, checking out all the
"Going to Kindergarten" books at the library and buying a backpack.

I'm doing my best to put on a brave face in front of him but I am sad. 

So sad.

A little nervous about how he will do but mostly just sad.

I feel like it is the end of something. 

Something big.

The end of our quiet little world at home, the end of me being the center of his world, the end of my control (over behavior, friends, choices) and my guidance and influence on his decisions.

The end of spending our days together, his days of playing with his sister all day long.

Going away on trips for the day, staying up late if we want and

staying in our pajamas all day if we choose to.

Have I done my job? 

Have I taught him everything he needs to know to be away from home all day?

Will he make the right decisions? Use his manners? Make friends?  Be nice to the other kids? 

Do well in school? Be able to sit still? 

Listen without talking? 

Help others? 

And is this the right schol for him anyway?

I told you...a lot is going through my head right now.

And I know, or hope, that this is not all bad, this whole beginning school thing.

It will be great for him, he will learn so much, make new friends.

  Love school.

This is my hope, this is what I keep telling myself.

When I was uploading these pictures from my alone time last week there were a bunch of pictures of this  same thing (weed? flower?) from different angles and a different perspective, in a different light.

Mostly because I thought they looked really cool and the sunlight was just perfect.
And it made me think that I don't think I have to pretend 

like I am ready for this big change, or not sad about my boy growing up but I can try to look at it a little differently.

Try to see this whole Kindergarten thing from a different perspective.  I can try.

*     *     *     *     *

So I'm trying to focus on the things we will get to do, the good things about school, the positive changes.

Charlotte is now signed up for ballet and starts the week schol starts and she is looking so forward to it.

Taking Wyatt out to shop for school supplies and out to dinner before the big day.

Making up a Kindergarten surprise box for him complete with his own clock...

for some reason he wants one really bad so now is a good time I guess.

Baking cookies while Wyatt is at school for an after-school snack, sitting down together when

 he gets home and hearing about his day.

How happy the kids will be to see each other after school each day.

It's all how you look at it.

(sniff)

Right?

I know many of you have been through this already and many others are getting ready to experience this for the first time like me. 

Any advice for me or anything you would like to share?
I would love to hear what you have to say, what you think or your own experiences.

We have spent the majority of the week inside as the temperature with humidity has
been up to 110* and higher. The other night it was 96* at 8:30 p.m. Yuck.
I thought better of my bright idea to take the kids to the County Fair today, now we are just waiting for our State Fair that starts next week.
Hope you all are having a great week!