{it's all how you look at it}

Thursday, August 5, 2010

So, I've held off on my I'm-Dreading-Kindergarten post as long as I possibly can.
Please leave now if you're not in the mood for self-absorbed whining, obsessing and to be honest, 
a little bit of theatrics on my part.
I've warned you.

School starts in just two weeks and although I am not feeling that all out panic yet, it's coming.
I know it is.
Sending my first child off to school has always felt so far off, it's one of those things that you know is coming but it feels so far in the future that you just push it to the back of your mind.

But now here we are.
All too soon.
Scheduling our orientation, finding out the name of his teacher, waiting for the school supply list to come in the mail, talking a little about school every day, checking out all the
"Going to Kindergarten" books at the library and buying a backpack.

I'm doing my best to put on a brave face in front of him but I am sad. 
So sad.
A little nervous about how he will do but mostly just sad.
I feel like it is the end of something. 
Something big.
The end of our quiet little world at home, the end of me being the center of his world, the end of my control (over behavior, friends, choices) and my guidance and influence on his decisions.
The end of spending our days together, his days of playing with his sister all day long.
Going away on trips for the day, staying up late if we want and
staying in our pajamas all day if we choose to.

Have I done my job? 
Have I taught him everything he needs to know to be away from home all day?
Will he make the right decisions? Use his manners? Make friends?  Be nice to the other kids? 
Do well in school? Be able to sit still? 
Listen without talking? 
Help others? 
And is this the right schol for him anyway?

I told you...a lot is going through my head right now.
And I know, or hope, that this is not all bad, this whole beginning school thing.
It will be great for him, he will learn so much, make new friends.
  Love school.
This is my hope, this is what I keep telling myself.

When I was uploading these pictures from my alone time last week there were a bunch of pictures of this  same thing (weed? flower?) from different angles and a different perspective, in a different light.
Mostly because I thought they looked really cool and the sunlight was just perfect.
And it made me think that I don't think I have to pretend 
like I am ready for this big change, or not sad about my boy growing up but I can try to look at it a little differently.
Try to see this whole Kindergarten thing from a different perspective.  I can try.

*     *     *     *     *
So I'm trying to focus on the things we will get to do, the good things about school, the positive changes.
Charlotte is now signed up for ballet and starts the week schol starts and she is looking so forward to it.
Taking Wyatt out to shop for school supplies and out to dinner before the big day.
Making up a Kindergarten surprise box for him complete with his own clock...
for some reason he wants one really bad so now is a good time I guess.
Baking cookies while Wyatt is at school for an after-school snack, sitting down together when
 he gets home and hearing about his day.
How happy the kids will be to see each other after school each day.

It's all how you look at it.

I know many of you have been through this already and many others are getting ready to experience this for the first time like me. 
Any advice for me or anything you would like to share?
I would love to hear what you have to say, what you think or your own experiences.

We have spent the majority of the week inside as the temperature with humidity has
been up to 110* and higher. The other night it was 96* at 8:30 p.m. Yuck.
I thought better of my bright idea to take the kids to the County Fair today, now we are just waiting for our State Fair that starts next week.
Hope you all are having a great week!


  1. I teach kindergarten. Trust me...he will be fine and because of that, you will be fine. Really.

    It's hard...at first. But you will see the fun he's having, the friends he's making, and the independence he's gaining and you'll smile.

    There will be rough days. But many more good days.

    I think since I teach school, sending my kids off hasn't been a big deal to me. They go with me. If anything, it was easier than putting them in daycare because they were closer.

    The Girl starts kindergarten this year. And guess who her teacher will be? Mrs. Senske. I hope I like her.

    Hang in there. It's bittersweet.

  2. These are the most beautiful photos I have ever seen of a "weed"!! :)
    It is hard to let our little precious children go... one little step at a time (that seems so big) that begins, and continues for a lifetime.
    I am sure he will enjoy himself, and mommy will come to enjoy hearing all those little stories when you pick him up from his days at school! It's such an exciting time for all of you!! :)
    ((((Amy)))) hugs to you...

  3. oh amy...you know me now...tears are *streaming* down my face...*STREAMING*!!!!

    it is such a change- in so many ways a wonderful change to be embraced by the whole family...but it is also a hard time for particularly a mother...

    never again are we the *whole* of their universe...Miss.whoever will have an opinion that will hold as much weight as your own...now that is something new to shed tears over...!!

    truely though...you will love to have a special afternoon tea ready *every* afternoon...you will bake with charlotte for her big brother the *school boy* & you will both be proud and sooo ready to to see him & hug him tight after his day in his world...& the one thing i would do is listen...my kiddos span 12 down to 5 and none of them *can* keep a thing from us...other parents ask me whats happening at school as they know our kids will have spilt the beans on the walk home...

    i'm really excited for you...it's the beginning of a wonderful journey together and all your worries will be dispelled day 1 when he comes out with his teacher- grinning ear to ear & tells you about the new *best* friend he has made...

    you're a wonderful mother...& in your heart this is what you have been preparing all your family for...it's wyatts *special* time & you'll all embrace it....

    melissa xx

  4. My boy that I first sent off to kindergarten is now entering 7th grade - middle school. And in 3 weeks I take my youngest to kindergarten. Each time it was hard, all for different reasons. With our first, I thought: he'll go use the bathroom, color pictures, eat lunch, play outside - all without my guidance or direction. I won't know exactly what he's doing every minute from sunup to sundown! That part was hard, relinquiching control, not because I'm a dictator, but because as mommy, that's my job. But it's also my job to let go and let them grow. I can tell you that kindergarten has been a wonderful experience for all of our children, and now our 4th child will be having the same kindergarten teacher as his siblings. I will cry this time because it's my last one going, and instead of a door opening it's like a door closing. Soon there will be driver's licenses and prom dates and high school graduations. I do have a hrad time with these transitions, but I have made myslf see the good in each stage and enjoy it. Savor the specialness of this phase - it will be good!

  5. It is only too natural for you to feel all these emotions. This is the beginning of a new, exciting chapter for him and you. Just think of all the stories he will come home with and all the new friends he will make! My 3 yr old goes to the village school (10 kids in his class!) 4 days a week and he loves it. He just plays all day, sleeps and eats. He comes home full of energy, babbling non stop. However, it is hard as they grow so fast to accept the changes as you want them to stay as they are forever! But, you will treasure new memories and aslong as you are happy, then he will be too....worry not :) x

  6. We just bought a new backpack today. He is so excited about school starting, mainly so he can use all his new supplies and wear all his new clothes!! :D It is hard to think about though, sniff. Chase's school is only 2 1/2 hours a day and I am driving him myself... so ours kindof feels like glorified pre-school. At least that's what I keep telling myself - ha!

  7. i think you put that beautifully! i feel the same way about many of those things, especially the one about if i prepared him enough. we go to meet the teacher tonight and i'm excited and full of butterflies all at the same time.

    i just finished a post about my experience preparing for this big step.

  8. I think if you're asking yourself these questions it's pretty obvious you've done your job, and you've done it well!

    I taught in an elementary school for 5 years when I first became a music teacher - and it was amazing to see the growth that happens in Kindergarten! I'm sure you'll be so happy and excited to see your little guy making friends, and learning at a furious rate.

    When I was at the elementary school part of my job was to stand by the front door of the school and greet the kids on their way in. I think the kids who had the most success were the kids who were able to take the cue from Mom or Dad - hug and kiss... wave... "Have a good day, see you in a few hours!"

    What a huge step for the both of you - it's going to be wonderful!!

  9. Beautiful pictures and beautifully written. Reading your post has made me teary. This is how I feel about my youngest starting school next year. It has only just hit me that this is the last couple of months I have left with her at home with me. Then it will be just me....and I think I will grieve for the loss of our speical moments together

  10. Oh, Boo! They grow up too terribly fast!

  11. awww...they do grow up too fast! My son won't start K until next year but I already have some of those feelings you describe. I'm sure Wyatt will be absolutely fine but it must be so hard to have it coming up so fast. It symbolizes a lot. Beautiful shots of that flower!

  12. my little guy is heading off to kindergarten too.
    and he is way more excited than me :) (but i am kind of excited).
    and no, your job is far from over.
    now you will just have homework!

  13. Hi Amy, I just found your blog and what a great post to start at. I know exactly what you are feeling and it's so normal. I sent my baby to Kindergarten last year and I wrote a very heartfelt post about it the morning he was starting. He will LOVE Kindergarten! You will get used to your new "normal" routine after a few weeks.

    It was definitely hard when my oldest went, and when second went it was hard too, but having my babies gone all day was such a change.

    Can you send a note to your teacher to see if you can volunteer in the classroom? My friend and I both did that and we swapped babysitting. It worked out so well! We both volunteered once a week in the class for our oldest and now all of our other children. You can also sign up to be a room mom and you can attend a party. It's so much fun to see them interact at school and to see their friends. I also love that because of that, I now know who most everyone is in their class. My oldest is going into 6th grade this year, middle school AHHHHH, and I know his classmates so well. It feels really good.

    Sorry to get off on a ramble, but I just want to let you know I empathize with you. You will do fine and he will have SO much fun and the memories he will have of coming home to cookies and talks with you will be priceless! :)

    BTW, I'm in Illinois too. :)

  14. I never got the chance to reall y feel sad about my babies starting kinder, because I teach, too. It was just easier (and cheaper!) than day care. But I am feeling pretty horrified at the thought of my baby starting fifth grade. His last year in elementary school. I'm pretty certain that middle school is going to kill me in so many ways.

    Most likely, Wyatt will love school. Most kids do. Especially kindergarten.


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