What An Awesome Mom Really Looks Like

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Let me tell you, a few years ago I would not have been able to write a post like this... and when I was
a new mom? Forget about it. No way.
But along the way in this whole Parenting thing, you really do learn so, so much.
And I am still learning and will never have all the answers, because no one ever will... but we learn as
we go, that's for sure.
OH- and one of the most important things I have learned so far?
That just as soon as you thing you have tackled something with your kids, beat it, figured it out and have it under control--
something new will pop up. Always.

Not long ago I was at a baby shower and everyone was asked to give the new mom advice.
Oh, people have advice, yes they certainly do have advice.
You know what I wish I knew when I was a new mom, or a mom of a 1-year old + a 3-year old...
a 2-year old + 4-year old, etc?
That there is no right way to do it, nobody has it all together(nobody!) and to follow you gut.

Let me say that again ::

1. There is no "right way" to do it
2. Nobody has it all together. NOBODY. So stop comparing yourself to other parents. NOW.
3. Follow your gut.

This applies to parenting at all ages and stages, not just babies but toddlers and preschoolers, school-aged children,
pre-teens and teenagers. Everyone.
Of course I haven't gotten past age 8 yet,  but I'm sure it does. Right?
It is so incredibly easy to compare yourself to other people and as mothers I think it is increasingly difficult not to do so.
Wouldn't you agree?
She's more organized, her kids are better behaved, her kids will eat anything, her kid is reading
already and speaking Spanish, her child does not throw fits, her child doesn't hit/bite/talk back... her kids are always on High Honor Roll .... the list could go on and on.

I think that every single day, as mothers,  it is easy to get down on ourselves  for a variety of different reasons; we snap at the kids, we lose patience, we never had patience to begin with, we forgot a doctor appointment, we sent our kids to school sick because we didn't believe them when they said they didn't feel good, we didn't show up for our kid's performance at school(remember when I did that? that was a sad day).... again, the list goes on.

One of my favorite things about my real-life mom friends + online mom friends is that everyone is different, so very different and we are all awesomely fantastic moms for a million different reasons.
Tiny reasons +  big reasons and there is always something to learn from each other.
But for some reason it is so much easier to point out our own flaws and what we are bad at, where we fail.
And fail we do, of course we do.
At least I do anyway.... A whole lot.
But there are things that all of us are good at, really good at... that work for us, for our kids, that make things easier/better/happier....
awesome things.
What do you do as a mother, for your kids or in the way you parent, that is really  awesome?

I  LOVE doing messy creative things with my kids, or letting them do messy creative things themselves... paint, glitter, glue,
mud, sand, making potions, digging... you name it. Using their imaginations and making big messes while they do so.
I am no neat freak, that is one thing I will never, ever  be accused of(right, Eric?).
It might be a small thing... but it's a thing.
It's my thing.

So, what is your thing? What are you really awesome at?
And don't be shy, brag on yourself... what are you REally AwesOme at as a mother?
Give me one thing or a whole list.

And have a Happy, happy Tuesday.


  1. im not a mom yet... in fact, I'm freaking out over the idea of getting a dog soon. i keep asking my husband "how are we going to know what to DO with it!?"... and that question always leads me to freak out with "OMG. and then one day we'll have BABIES!!" of course, I'm mostly kidding. but this post was encouraging for someone like me who wants to do every little thing "right" and get a little nervous about our future of raising little humans! :)

    happy tuesday, friend!

  2. HAHAHA!!!! Oh my word, I just love this so much. It is so true. Especially the part about when you FINALLY think you have figured out what you are doing and how to handle this issue or that, your kid(s) move on to a new phase with all new issues that you have no idea how to handle. BAH!
    What am I good at? Hmm...

    -I am really good at explaining this to them. Even things that are "difficult" to talk about. I am completely comfortable talking about anything they want to talk about and they know they can ask me anything and talk to me about anything.
    -I like to try and make life fun. I'm goofy. I'm silly.
    -I know when to say sorry. My kids know that everyone makes mistakes (even mom and dad) and that I will say sorry when I have done something wrong.

  3. It's funny – several years ago I was at a baby shower where they had everyone wrote a snippet of advice to the soon to be new mom. My advice was, "don't listen to any of this advice. You and your baby are your own people and you will have to figure out how it works together ". I did go back and add an amendment after I thought about it a bit more. I wrote, "Leave the baby with its father for two hours within the first three weeks of its life. " I never actually did leave my own children with Rob until they were several months old – but I always knew that I should have.

    What makes me an awesome mom? I try not to sweat the small stuff. I recognize that all four of my children are very different human beings and I try to parent them accordingly. I am very good at talking with them about whatever needs to be talked about. I approach most things with a sense of humor. I could list several more things that I am proud of, but I think what actually makes me an awesome mom is that I take the time to fall in love with each of my kids every day. It's a promise I made to myself when I was pregnant with AJ and one that I have actually kept. This doesn't mean that I don't get frustrated or angry or do things that I later regret- it means that I take the time every day to just watch them be themselves and truly feel how much I love them. It is easy as a mom to get tangled up in worry and stress and so many other things – and I am certainly guilty of that sometimes – Which is why stopping and just feeling how much I love each one of them every day is so important to me.

  4. Super envious of your one awesome thing actually. My awesome thing is that I know my kids have their own stories and they are not about me. I think/hope/pray I'll let them go be who they need to be when the time comes someday. I see them as incredible individuals that will need to experience real life, hard stuff, and work to figure it all out. That's my stream of consciousness thing, haha. Still really loving your blog Ames. Great post.

  5. I love this post. Thank you for making me feel like a great mom today.
    What am I good at? I try to have/make/do something special with them/for them every day, a little surprise without actually going out and spending money to do/make/get it (or spending very little). Like picking up a book/movie they mentioned or would like at the public library or making them a special hot chocolate because it is a rainy day. Or pulling out something I saved for them to do crafts with together like bubble wrap or colorful wrapping paper or popsicle sticks (that are not easy to find here). Or sometimes buying small, very inexpensive thoughts that I hide away and then surprise them with randomly (like a bag of confetti or stickers I got on sale). Little, silly things to let them know they are always in my thoughts. Also I always try to talk with them openly and like Kat, have no qualms talking about anything they ask me and say sorry when I know I was wrong (which is often).

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  7. Hi Amy, I love this so much. When I first became a mom almost 5 years ago, I dabbled in the "advice" books and looked stuff up online and asked a million questions...but then all of that stuff just exhausted me. I threw it all out, and started going with my gut. Even though I'm still exhausted almost every single day {ha}, it's a different kind. I was shaking my head YES throughout this entire post. What am I awesome at?
    We play outside and ride our bikes almost every single day, even when I don't want to. Sometimes we have popcorn and popsicles for dinner. We are couch jumpers and bed jumpers and we break a lot of the rules....and I love it all.
    Thanks for a great post. Gives me more to think about. I will stand up and shout and say most days I'm a mess and I NEVER have it all together, but I love with every ounce of my body...and that is enough.

  8. I've really been enjoying your blog lately, it screams FUN!! I think one thing I'm good at is making my family feel loved. {at least that's my desire and important focus, for them to understand that they are loved by me no matter what, I have their back} Come and visit me sometime, I'd love to have coffee with you :) Blessings, Amy

  9. it's funny because i could be a little jealous of that one thing. when we do messy stuff i really have to work to have fun. the moms that just bake and glue and use non watercolor paint are my heroes. i try. but i guess i should take your advise and let it go :)
    honestly, right now, sitting on my bed at 9:15 i can't really think of my thing. i guess it's that i don't try to pretend to know all the answers. my kids know i'm a human, i think. i guess that's good sometimes.

  10. Hi there! Great post. I have a child with special needs, so I rarely compare myself to other moms and their parenting, because it is simply not the same. Maybe I can be unfair, thinking life is so much easier for them, when they have their own struggles!
    I would say that what makes me an awesome mom, is that I fight tirelessly for my daughter's well-being. Insurance companies, Medicaid, school districts; there is no agency or institution I won't take on. And I am NOT by nature, an assertive or pushy person. At all.
    Being a mom to a child with a disability has forced me to become supermom, fighting injustices!
    My thing is, I put my daughter first, always. I uprooted our family from our beloved home in beautiful Oregon to Idaho to get her better intervention services. It hasn't been easy to leave a city I adore, with friends and everything else, to move to a small town and start over.
    Everything I wanted and cared for was in Portland, but everything she needs is here in Idaho. It is a major sacrifice. And she's worth it!


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