Amid The Chaos

There was no smooth transition when I arrived back home from our little vacation on Sunday.
I knew there wouldn't be, but wow.
We didn't imagine this.

Just days ago it was sunscreen, sand, looking for sea shells and drinking Cherry Sambas at our favorite restaurant on the water at night.
Things changed fast on our way home.
One of the girls I was on my trip with came home to her husband very, very sick and in critical condition.
He is in ICU and we don't know what is going to happen... it is bad...instead of taking it day-by-day they are literally taking it minute-by-minute.
It's not good.
It is scary and completely unbelievable.

It's beyond hard to watch someone you love very much go through something like this knowing there is absolutely nothing you can do.
There is no good news. No bright spot, the doctors are not encouraging.
There is a flurry of texting and phone calls between the other four of us... waiting for news, updates and
lots of "I love Yous".
I am not a big "I love you" kinda girl... not a big hugger... not usually.
I have cried more in this last week than I have in a long time.
It's heartbreaking and it is hard to understand.
I wish I could do something,  anything,  to take it away... but I can't.

Amid the chaos of the last few days, there are a few things I have learned.
I know that I have friends that would do anything for me.
I know that when a friend really, really needs something, the other friends step up.
I now that just being there-- whether physically or by phone call or text message is sometimes the only thing you can do... and it is enough.
I know that sometimes people cannot carry themselves, cannot physically go on alone,  but need to be carried by their loved ones.
And blind faith.
I know that showing up at the hospital just to sit in the ICU waiting room once or twice a day in case your friend comes out...
It's just what you do.

This last week I have been reminded once again that all of the little things in this life of ours just don't matter.
People do. Our friends and family do.
That's it, that's really all we have.

And for that I am beyond grateful.

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