May & Looking Ahead

On Monday while my nieces were napping I found myself with an hour all to myself.
After a crazy, not-so-good start to the day this was very much appreciated.
I sat on the couch with my laptop, magazines, notebook & pen... windows open, birds chirping and sun shining.
It was a beautiful Spring day.

I started thinking about all the things I can't wait for this Spring and Summer...
eating meals outside, evening fires in the fire pit, bike rides, walks, a glass of wine on the patio after the kids go to bed, hanging
more twinkly lights in the backyard, a little garden, planting flowers... the list goes on and on.

Things are really turning green, the sun is shining more, little buds are popping up all over.
I love Spring and what it represents... I also just love that it brings us out of a long, dreary Winter.
It feels like a fresh start, a new beginning.

Trying to look ahead while enjoying right now is really hard, but it is especially hard when you have loved ones going through
hard stuff at the same time-- really hard stuff, like the hardest stuff you will EVER go through in life.
How can I worry about what I'm going to plant in my garden, or worry about how the grass doesn't grow in certain spots, when
I have a friend who doesn't know how she's gonna make it through another day and night at the hospital?
Worrying about what her future is going to look like?

It's hard. And it doesn't feel right, just going on like business as usual.
But it's just what we have to do I guess.
Right?

So today I'm trying to enjoy this moment, while looking ahead to the great month of May and all it will surely bring, while my heart
is not all here, part of it stays with my friend.
Life is hard.
Sometimes it sucks.
REALLY sucks.
But there is still lots of good stuff.
And that is what I am trying to remember today.

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Happy May Day, y'all! Hope it's a great day and and even better month!