Getting There.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

So I think I have somehow climbed my way out of my insomnia.
For now.
I am paranoid about even saying things like this...I  don't wanna jinx myself, ya know?
Sleep is good. Sleep is important. Sleep is a necessity.
When you are not sleeping good it messes everything up, like everything.
Did you know that? Because I didn't. Not really.

I thought that when the kids were babies and being up and down all night long nursing
was tough, that is the only kind of sleep-deprivation I had ever known before. 
But, being awake for literally half of the night, laying in bed for hours and finally 
falling asleep two hours  before you know the kids will be up is bad. 
Thank god for my husband.
Anyway, it seems to be gone (for now),
I am sleeping good, normal even, and have been getting up early, like 5:45 am to walk 
several times a week. That is like a HUGE thing for me right now.
My man even got me a new ipod  and put music on it for me for my birthday which just makes
 getting up early to exercise that much easier.
I still have a long way to go but I am feeling so much better.
I don't think I made it clear in this post (oh wait--you can't read my mind?) but I know that
my insomnia is directly related to anxiety. 
The anxiety is under control (for now) and I have to say, I feel like a new person compared to
 the way I was feeling back in April... and May...and June...and July...
It has been a long road to get here.
And I don't think I am there there but I am getting there.

I don't want to sound like a commercial, but...if you are struggling with anything similar,
or nothing similar at all, but something completely different, hang in there. 
It will get better.
Ask for help, share your struggle with other people, talk to someone, consider medication,
consider counseling, be honest with yourself and others, consider exercise, meditation, acupuncture,
a support group, prayer...whatever it takes.
I know different things work for different people, it might take a while, 
but you will get there.

It's hard to know what to share here and what not to.
No one wants to be judged...or labeled...for people to think there is something"wrong"
with them, that we have problems. 
But in reality everyone has problems, we all do at some point, they might all be different and
 at different times in our lives but don't ever let yourself believe that each and every person
 doesn't have problems.
The people behind your favorite blogs, your neighbors, best friends, the mom who seems to do
 it all, your family, your enemies, co-workers...everyone.
 They are struggling financially, in their marriages, with depression, addiction, they don't know how to handle their children, they are unhappy and unemployed and in bad marriages and don't know what to do with their lives.
They are struggling with fertility, with school,
with their teenagers,
with their weight and health problems and they are worried about their jobs
 and bills and life.
All of us...and I am not saying this as a "misery loves company" sort of thing but just
 to remind anyone out there
that needs to be reminded that you are not alone.

I hope that was not too much for your Thursday morning, I promise to be back with
 a less serious post tomorrow ; )
 I am sitting out on the back patio drinking coffee right now while Charlotte is playing.
 It is a beautiful day...hope you have one, too!

*ps-remember you can always email me at 


  1. SO glad you're feeling better, Amy! Insomnia is NO're just a mess when you don't sleep! So glad for you :)

  2. This was a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing.

  3. I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better. As you well know you are NOT alone. I too had issues with insomnia, anxiety, depression...turned out a crappy job and boss were to blame, but it REALLY messes up your life. So, we all struggle and we are all fist pump to you on finding what you needed. ROCK IT're doin' great!

  4. Point well taken. I'm glad you're on your way.

  5. Sleep - always a visitor never a friend! I have not sleep well for years, and have real bouts with insomnia at times. Even though I'm currently only getting a few good hours of sleep a night, I don't call that insomnia because, like you, when insomnia really hits it is a wide-awake all night experience, falling asleep somewhere between 4-5. Alarm goes off at 5:30! It usually last for weeks or months at a time. ~ But I used to let it stress me out, now I just get up and get something accomplished. It's better than lying there waiting! ~ Hey I wonder if your walking routine is helping with your sleep? Can't hurt!

  6. i love the quote at the end. really beautiful.

    and i'm so glad you're sleeping better! sleep makes everything look a little brighter.

  7. Glad you are getting some better nights sleep these jinxing allowed. So easy to forget that everyone is dealing with some kind of that quote.

  8. I loved reading this! I don't struggle with sleep or lack of, but like you said we all have problems in one form or another. It is so refreshing to hear people, especially women admit to our flaws. We often hide them and want everyone to think we are perfect.

    Thanks again for being so open. I would love to share this on my blog too! :)

  9. yes it is so easy to be tricked into thinking that you are the only one who struggles...the only one you is bad at stuff...the only one who is loosing it.
    everyone has hard stuff happening to them and if they don't it's comin'.....
    do you guys every listen to those bible cd's in the car?
    sometimes i seriously loose it when i hear that comforting english accent telling me about God never being able to stop loving me...that he will always come for me and rescue should try it.
    my kids love that book but i think i love it a tad more :)

  10. thank you for this post. Lately, I have not been sleeping at all, the past few months. lots of anxiety over my daughter. worried about her because she is suffering from OCD/Anxiety, funny how that works, me worrying over her anxiety. it's up and down and life is crazy.
    lots of love and hugs coming your way!
    thanks for being real!


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