15 minutes

Monday, September 12, 2011

sometimes fifteen minutes can make all the difference in my day.
sometimes fifteen minutes isn't nearly enough to even get me through the next hour.
have you ever noticed that?
okay, maybe fifteen minutes isn't quite long enough...maybe thirty minutes is more like it.
some mornings if i get just that little bit of time to myself for a walk or to blog or sit on the front
porch with a cup of tea, i am ready for it....ready to take on the day.

sometimes fifteen hours isn't enough time though.
you know those days?
eric was gone all weekend on a guys thing that has been planned for about a year;
which means one of two things:  either myself or one of the kids will be sick.
it's a given. this time it was me.
i know, i am still whining about this cough but it has officially taken it's toll on me now.
it hasn't let me get a really good night's sleep in about a week and if it doesn't quit i am going to
 have to invest in some depends. sorry for the TMI, but these coughing fits are getting ugly.
i am feeling tired and grouchy and while i am mustering up all the patience i can,
it is not nearly enough. not even close.

i hate feeling like a whiner but even more so i hate that i put it on myself that i have to either
 preface any posts like this with a 
"you know i love my life and kids and i truly realize how great it is, BUT......"
or end the post with such a summary of how i am counting my blessings each and every day.
i do. i am. 
but really? do i have to tell you every time?
you guys get it.
i'm sure the men aren't doing that every time they complain to each other, right? 
why is it that we feel like we have to anyway?

i was watching something on tv a week or so ago that stuck with me.
some doctor was talking about how depleting parenting can be.
it's true. i thought  depleting was such a good word.
and that's kind of how i feel right now.
sometimes you just don't feel like you have any more to give to everything that needs it.
it's depleting.
and i'm not even going to follow that up with an "and rewarding and fantastic..." 
because we already know that and because i just decided i wasn't going to do that in this post.
i am taking a stand--on this post anyway.

lately i have been trying to get back to journaling on a regular basis.
real journaling with a real live pen and notebook as opposed to blogging or typing.
it helps me so much.
any time i am feeling anxious about whatever i might have coming up or whatever is on my mind...
just to get out some thoughts and let them go, it truly makes me feel so much better.
fifteen minutes of random writing that no one else will ever see... you should try it.
who needs therapy, anyway?
{oh wait--that was me but my insurance wouldn't cover it, that's right...} ; )

fifteen minutes of typing is all i needed this time.
yep, much better.
i think i am ready for monday.
hope your week gets off to a great start today. happy monday, y'all!


  1. oh Amy. . .I am very depleted lately and David just doesn't get it. He goes to work and gets filled up with finishing things and accomplishing much. While after the summer of chaos, I feel like a vacuum was put to my body and sucked every last ounce of drive and energy out. It will get better, I know this. But it is nice to just admit it sometimes!

  2. oh girl, depleted is an excellent word for me right now. besides having some huge changes coming up requiring me loads and loads of work, my seasonal allergies are about to literally kill me! i just woke up, at a quarter to 8, after i planned on 6:30. that's frustrating, but i'm so tired. ugh! i feel you!

  3. parenting IS depleting...no doubt about it. hope you are feeling better. those pictures are beyond beautiful. makes me want to take a nature photo walk:)

  4. What a well written blog post. Your photos were the perfect compliment to your feelings today. And we ALL feel what your feeling. Im a single mom (to 3) so "depleted" is a word I know well. Tomorrow will be better! Take yourself out for a starbucks coffee and muffin... And try to take 2,000 =mg of vit c. (It works like a charm). Take care of you!

  5. Good for you, for taking a stand! I recently read a book called "Jerusalem Maiden" that talked about how Jewish women kvetch to ward off evil, jealous spirits, and it made me think about how we always feel compelled to follow up a complaint with a litany of our blessings. While I do believe it's good to be aware of the good in our life too, even when things go wrong, sometimes I think it's a blessing to just give ourselves the freedom to let a complaint be. Vent and be done with it. No apologies.

    I'm sorry you're not feeling well and I hope the cough passes soon!

  6. hope you feel better soon!
    I had a good few weeks, but am feeling quite depleted myself this past two days!

  7. I want to echo Jade in that sometimes it is just plain ok to say that your life stinks just a little that day, and leave it at that without mentioning our blessings for they are obvious.

    Just as long as we don't wallow, eh?

    Being a parent IS depleting some days. Lately I feel tired when I know I shouldn't and my patience is egg shell thin. So yes, 15 minutes is needed here, too.

  8. oh gosh, i so know about the bad cough. i'm a major cougher when sick. i've tried it ALLLLL. i hope you've found some relief though, and are getting some sleep. yeah, there's no need for the disclaimer about how there's a lot of be thankful for. we know you know. and we'd all choose to hear the struggley stuff anyway, since everyone wants to feel less alone. and thx for the advice on journaling. i've been considering it lately, and feeling lazy.

  9. I had the worst sore throat of my life and now have the follow-on cough. This has been going on for more than 2 weeks--I am SO-O-0 ready for it to be gone. The one thing that seems to work best for me, especially at night, was to gargle with warm salt water. I don't know why it works but I can tell you it moistens the throat and temporarily soothes some of the soreness. It was usually enough to let me fall asleep and stay that way for 2-3 hours.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  10. perfect photos.
    i stared at um for a long long time.
    i wish to be there right now.
    i really really hope you get some time to fill up your tank soon, very soon. or maybe just a miracle (isn't that the same thing?)

  11. Oh Girl. I love you!
    That's all I'm saying.
    Thanks for this one ;D


leave me a comment...you know you wanna.