I think I had a bit of an aha! moment this week.
Let me backtrack a little first, though.
I briefly mentioned here in this post that we are trying to figure out some things for school
next year, stay at our current school or switch to our neighborhood school.
It's a really tough decision.
We are happy with our current school, it is a K-8 magnet school and we have not really had any
complaints at all and we are nearing the end of our second year there.
Wyatt has had two fantastic teachers that I honestly feel like I couldn't have picked better myself.
Friends, cousins, good teachers, love the principal, staying there for middle school--
lots of positive things.
The neighborhood school is K-6, smaller, in walking distance and is becoming/has become a
University affiliated Laboratory school--I will spare you all the details here but it sounds like they
will be doing some really cool things and would be a great opportunity for the kids.
And they can walk there.
Charlotte will be starting kindergarten in the fall, so to me, this would be the time to switch.
I think it would be an easier transition if they were both starting the new school together.
This is my big dilemma.
We have discussed it and discussed it and made lists of pros and cons and tried to guess what life
might look like five years from now when it is time to decide on middle school and asked for a sign
and thought about the benefits and what would really be best for the kids and for the whole family.
It is a big decision and a big deal but maybe I am analyzing it all a bit too much.
I am scared of screwing up.
Of making the wrong decision.
Of regretting it later....wishing I could go back.
The funny thing is, I have asked for a sign, waited for that gut feeling to just know what to do...
and thought it hadn't came.
But this week I realized that maybe I do know what the right decision is, that I did get that
"sign" I was looking for and I have unintentionally been ignoring that gut feeling simply
out of fear.
Not acting out of fear.
Not taking the leap of faith because I don't know exactly what life is going to look like five
years down the road.
And then I think about what other things I do or don't do simply out of fear...fear of being wrong,
of looking dumb, fear of failure....I'm thinking that this happens a lot more than I even realized.
I told you, I have been way over-analyzing all of this stuff lately, including myself.
I don't always do well with change, I think it is the fear of the unknown.
Things change, schools change, thoughts change, values change, wants
and needs change...
and I don't think that being afraid of what may or may not happen, how I may
or may not regret a decision later or how we may or may not screw up our kids is any way to live.
I think it is all something to think about and then let go.
That's where I have trouble though.
I especially don't want to not do something that might end up being really good or really positive,
out of fear.
Any thoughts or experiences here?
making hard decisions
following your gut
dealing with changes
acting out of fear
not acting out of fear...?
I would love to hear what you have to say.
Happy Sunday to you.