Parenting :: On The Pope and Ass-Kicking and Ruining My Kids For Good

Thursday, March 13, 2014

{ That's a big and kinda scary title, huh? }

Some days parenting and being The Mom is so hard.
Some days it is almost effortless.
Some days I want to scoop the kids up and take off for the country,  never to be seen again.
Away from people and other kids and school and TV and electronics and everything.
E  v  e  r  y  t  h  i  n  g.
Some days I couldn't be happier right where we are- in this stage of our lives and their lives and just all of it.
Some days I feel pretty proud of my kids and where they are and how they are doing...
and even, dare I say, a tiny bit proud of the job we are doing as parents.
Then the next day I realize, and have a  major freak out in my head, that I am ruining the kids.

I'm not doing the right things with them, teaching them what's important, we're not going to church regularly, I don't have answers
for the hard
questions and more often than I would like I have to,  I tell them that "I'll get back to you on that one."
But then I forget to.
They've not yet played a team sport(either of them!) or any kind of sport for that matter.
They have never had a puppy or flown on an airplane.
They've never set foot inside a Chuck E. Cheese and might even think we don't have one at all in the state of Illinois.
I am not strong in the patience department, it's one of my worst faults.
If I can't show them patience as I should... will they be able to have/show patience?

Charlotte recently asked my mom(when my mom mentioned the Pope in conversation and described him as wearing a white robe and a big pointy hat):
"You mean like a wizard?"
I mean... that's just wrong... they should know this... that's  MY JOB.
What else don't they know, that they SHOULD know??

Some days I want to go over to school and literally threaten the bratty kid who made an inappropriate gesture/was mean to/used bad +
inappropriate language in front of my kid.
He doesn't need to know this stuff yet!
That's it, I'm homeschooling!
Private school!
And the next day when my child comes home from school with a bruise on his leg from being kicked by a classmate I want to go
physically kick the kid's ass.
Like I actually envision myself kicking an 8-year old's ass. And that's kinda wrong.
But then my child tells me that he kinda pinched the kid first, just lightly and in a kidding way.
And I tell him;  "I bet you keep your hands to yourself next time then, huh?"
But I'm not sure which way is right-- that or whoopin' the classmate's ass ?!

I want to teach them the right way, the appropriate way....
But sometimes that's just really hard.
And don't worry, these ass-kickin' fantasies stay in my head and are not uttered in front of the kids,
I promise.


And my brain isn't like this every day,  don't worry.
I am pretty laid back in general.
And I'm a laid back parent, no helicopter parenting going on over here.
But still.
Some days it's enough to drive you crazy.
And on those days.... there'd better be a bottle of wine in the house.
Or two.


  1. I totally get this! I feel this way alllll the time. I homeschool, but am I doing it right? I am also impatient and flawed... I graduated my son from homeschooling a couple years ago already and he is now almost 20! Yikes! He seems to be doing pretty good. Funny thing is, his girlfriend made a comment that when they first met and hung out, he seemed sheltered...SHELTERED!!!! Haha. Yeah maybe a little but I didn't keep the world out completely. He has had his fair share of bullies and hurt from people and he has dealt with a broken mama. And there were plenty times I wanted to kick certain kids asses myself!! lol. I am still schooling my girl..She too has had her share! Anyways I am blabbering but wanted to encourage you. Your an awesome mom. We all have our failings and will never be perfect, but that is okay. The thing to do is keep trying to strive to be better, go to church more and be patient. Though you will fail everyday. I do too. Trust in God with it all...Give all your worries and thoughts to Him. Don't give up...Be there for your kids. They will remember those things the most. They will love and respect you always for being real and confessing your imperfections and that you always stayed true to the foundations you have provided. You rock!

    1. Mica,
      Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice, I appreciate it so very much! I am glad to know i am not alone... or completely crazy. :)

  2. Amy. This post makes me love you even more. For reals. I told my kids Chuck E Cheese went bankrupt because they mismanage their money. We don't go to church regularly (blogged about that today actually). Jack is just going out for baseball for the first time this year. They've never had a puppy. And I just told Jack that if this certain kid made one more comment to him about being a wimp, I would literally drive to his house, grab him by the collar and tell him if he talks to you again he's going to wish he was never born. YIKES. I love you. you're doing fine...or else we both suck...I'm not sure. but at least we're equal opportunity mamas. xo :)

    1. THANK YOU, Alicia! I am so happy to hear this because i really look up to you and your mad parenting skills! ;) And it's nice to know i might just have an ass-whoopin' partner!

  3. I love how honest you are in your posts, I get the feeling that what you see with you is what you get and I really like that.
    I've not got kids of my own but when I do, I hope they have an up-bringing like yours. They may not follow a sport, they may not have flown in an airplane and may not know about a Chuck E Cheese in Illinois (not a bad thing in my opinion), but there are loads of things that they are doing that so many other kids out there are not. Your kids have so many adventures, they now how to play with toys, they get to enjoy the great outdoors, build dens, write on the pavement with chalk, enjoy going to museums and spending time with you (I was only telling my other half today about your dates with the kids, I love that idea I think it's amazing), reading books (real ones not the ones you see on a screen) if that isn't education then I don't know what it. There is no right or wrong way to bring up children. They seem happy enough to me, I think you are doing an amazing job, your being way too hard on yourself because from here it looks like your doing just fine x x x x

    1. Gem- thank you so much. I don't compare myself to others(moms, women, etc.) which i am thankful for because i know that is another crazy trap to fall into) -- just my own crazy self! : ) I really do appreciate your encouragement and sweet comments, they mean a lot! XO

  4. Glad to know it is not just me having these kinda parties in my head ;o)

    1. Glad to hear I'm not the only one ridin' this CRAZY TRAIN! : )


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