On Self-Doubt & Busting Out The Paint Brushes

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The other day Charlotte and I were home alone and she was painting, like she often does 
when the mood strikes her. She gets out everything she needs and just starts. 
there's no thinking about what exactly she's going to do, not questioning if it's a good idea... 
or even whether or not she is a great painter. She just likes to paint.
So she does. 
I decided that maybe I felt like painting too,  so I grabbed my sketch book and the 
water colors and painted at the little table next right next to her.
Suddenly I remembered that I actually like painting, just for the fun of it, with no expectations or end 
result in mind. Then I realized that the reason I probably don't do it that much is because I don't think I am very good at it. And then I realized it really doesn't matter though either way.
I love drawing and doodling and always have been a doodler/drawer.
That's just who I am.
So there.

I think it feels good to try different things or the things you have kind of forgotten that you enjoyed, whether or not you think you are any good at it. And whether or not you even keep what you are working on or throw it away when you are done. I know it's kind of a cliche, but it really is the process and enjoying the activity, whatever it may be, while you are doing it.
There are things I know I never try because I think I wouldn't be any good at it... I mean, it's
not really even a conscience thought but just a little something in the way back of my mind.
Do you do that, too?

Since we re-painted the living room there is one wall that is empty and it's the perfect spot for something big. I need a  b i g  canvas/print/something and I haven't seen anything that size, that I like, that is in my price range, so I think I am just going to make my own art to put there.
I am still trying to figure out what eaxctly, but I will... I have a few ideas.
And if I don't love it... or I mess up then I will just fix it or cover it with something else... 
I know I will figure something out. I was thinking about all of this- about creativity and what I love to do, what I am scared to do without totally realizing I am scared to do it, why I doubt myself, 
what makes me happy and how positive it is to spend my time creating.

And then I remembered that quote by Sylvia Plath that I love, because it's so true.
And then I realized I absolutely do not want to spend my days in self-doubt and I don't want 
my kids to, either. And that is why I am taking action(my one little word for 2015) and trying new things and doing the things I want to do instead of wishing I could or telling myself that "some day" I will.
The hard part is actually stopping the negative self-talk and doubting though.

Is there any area in your life where you need to let go of the self-doubt?
Or that without realizing it, you have let that little nagging voice of doubt keep you 
from trying something you want to try?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.



  1. I love this! The very same thoughts have been crossing my mind recently and I promised myself the right of creative entitlement - a liberty of having a vision and a voice that deserves to be shown to the world. Everyone, I belive, is entitled to that. Wishing you success!

    1. YES, Sylvia! I could not agree more! :) Wishing you success as well!

  2. Sewing, crafting, blogging, cooking, church, work, marriage, life in general…….yeah- I feel doubt a LOT in all those areas. I recently had a conversation with my boss that after a person turns 40 ( I'm 33) , things feel different, something shifts, and you start to feel comfortable in your own skin. Maybe that's why they say turning 40 is over the hill! Which really sounds dreamy to me!? I mean, who wants to climb a hill for 40 flipping years!? Not me. 40 isn't a magic number, just something we talked about . I love the simplicity of Charlotte getting the urge to paint, and so she does. She just DOES. She gets all the stuff out, and then does it.I love that. Somehow we need to jet get out of the way, and just DO. Nike really got it right with their whole Just Do It campaign. Maybe it's deeper then anything the rest of us could see.

    1. I agree wholeheartedly, Rachel! The whole thing about turning 40 I always heard myself and yes, I believe it now that I am 40! I think there is a shift, a bit more confidence in our choices/life/path and maybe just the fact that I don't care what others think. and don't question myself as much is some areas. It's liberating for many women, I think.
      You're right... We all need to Just Do It ! : )

  3. I really need to take note of this quote, it is fantastic.
    Not only is it nice to be creative, it also means being able to spend quality time with Charlotte. I bet she loved having you paint along side her :) x x x

  4. I love this quote! And if I was smart enough to figure it out... I'd make a file for readers to be able to download and print... But alas, I am not! ;)
    Thanks always for your sweet words, Gem!

  5. You have given me food for thought, I know there are several parts of my life that would benefit from the absence of self-doubt...

    1. I think we ALL do! Unfortunately my inner critic is much tool oud sometimes, but I am working on that...


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