A Little Discouraged

Okay, so here goes.
I talked a little bit about some of this a couple of weeks ago {here} although I didn't
come right out with all of it. So.....
We have been waiting and waiting for news on a job my husband interviewed for
more than a month ago.
Waited and waited.
Oh, and he had not one but two interviews.
He did not get the job, we finally found out last Friday.
All that waiting and hoping...the "what-ifs" and thinking maybe this really is it....
Nope.
Bummed and disappointed would be an understatement.
Great understatement.
Crying in the shower and wondering where in the hell we go from here might be a little more
accurate--ummm...and that would be ME, not him.

So, all of the what-ifs and maybes and some days are gone for now.
Just for now though. I have to keep telling myself that.
Here's the thing that I am having a hard time with though-well, there's two things really.
A lot of things (in my mind) hinged on this job, maybe a different path, maybe answers to things
we/I have been wondering about. Maybe more of a concrete idea of where we are going...
I am talking about family, schools, jobs, working/not working(me) and just big life big decisions.
So now I feel like I am right back where I started; with no clear path, no answers, no idea,
just questions.
And a lot of frustration and disappointment.
I am discouraged. I know he is beyond discouraged...and not just about this specific
job but about the whole job search thing in general.

I feel bad for him. It sucks.
Jobs are scarce, too many people looking and not enough jobs.
And he is going into a new field.
He worked his ass off in school for this.
He finished school last Winter and officially graduated just this past May.
I was, and am, so proud of him.
He started school right at the time Charlotte was born.
I had a newborn baby and a 2 year-old when he started.
It was rough at times, on both of us.
He also worked full time and commuted an hour each way to work, every day.
He got excellent grades.
And didn't complain.
Ever.
The same could not be said had it been me instead. Just being honest.

And through it all we told ourselves it would all be worth it when he was done.
When he had a new job.
In a field that he really wanted to be in.
And still we wait.
But still hopeful...well, kinda...ummm, so that's not entirely true but I will be again but
just maybe not quite yet.
Something will come along, at some point, I just hoped it would be sooner rather
than later.

So, if you know of anyone, anywhere, in any state or any city that is looking for
someone with the following awesome credentials, let me know : )

*Bachelor's degree in English
*Tons of computer/Graphic Design knowledge & experience
*Masters Degree in Environmental Studies and Sustainability
*Super smart
*Super sweet
*and super laid-back--which is a plus in any work environment if you ask me

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I already feel better just typing that out.
The worry and stress is so much worse for me when I carry it around with me.
Thanks for listening, guys.

PS- I started this post a few days ago and just thought I would add that today I am feeling
better about all of this....I think wondering and waiting is the worst part.
Once you know you can move on from it.
And so we will.
Happy Wednesday, y'all!