Amy Vs. The World /// A Trip To Crazytown

So my title might sound a wee bit dramatic, but that's just pretty much exactly how I am feeling today.
Do you know what I mean?
Like nothing is quite right, everyone and everything is against me and I can do absolutely nothing right.
I might just be the worst parent around, am most definitely the world's worst spouse, I don't seem to know where to go or
what to do next and even the simplest of things seem just a little bit too overwhelming.

Don't worry, I know it's not true, not really anyway... that's just how I am feeling.
It's just one of those days where you wish you could vanish into thin air....go far, far away where you know no one
and no one will look at you, speak to you or even notice that you are there.
Or crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my head and stay there for days.
Days.

I feel like crying and I'm not sure why... I am trying my best to hold it together.
Because sometimes you feel like if you start you just may not stop.
The anxiety is creeping around but not actually there yet... and in the back of my mind I wonder how
long until the cycle of anxiety, panic + sleepless nights are back.

This, my friends, is what going off of your anti-anxiety medication looks like.
This isn't the result I was hoping for.
It took a couple of weeks to get here and I(maybe much too)foolishly thought that maybe this is
NOT where I would be.... not how I would feel.
That it was possible to be just fine without it, that I am bigger than the anxiety and "stronger"
than it, too.
That I could deal with it alone or that it really was "better".... or gone, at bay... that it's not as much
of an issue anymore.

>>>>>>>>>>>

This is what I know, right now, today : 
If I want everyone else to know that it is okay to admit that you are battling with anxiety, panic attacks, depression- or with
anything at all that might make you feel bad, weak or "less than"... that it is nothing to be ashamed of, there is nothing
wrong with you and you are not alone.
I need to own it + say it out loud,  because this is my story, too.

I will get past this little bad patch, I know I will.
And I also know that, unfortunately,  this will not be the last one.
I am lucky enough to have a few very good friends that understand, sympathize, listen + don't judge me or think
that I am completely crazy.
Even if I feel like it sometimes.

Tomorrow is a new day.
And for that I am grateful.
Very grateful.

>>>>>>>>

Source: housetweaking.com via Amy on Pinterest

{ Related Crazytown Posts :: here , here , here , here }